girl wonder

*walks into an antique store* i’d like to see your most evil items, please

There are no ducks in this post.

when i was a young boy i had the philosophy of ‘balls are the boobs of the penis so its ok that i want to suck on them it doesn’t make me gay” and tbh i was cooking

to see a marching band

He’s right. Ten dollars for that much cheese, buying it is the only correct decision.

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

“what’s up with you and vampires, man?” we don’t have the time to discuss this

everytime i see this it makes me want to buy from them exclusively

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

i think that soy sauce fish and honey bear must be the very very best of friends