silence outlives the earth

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

just helped an old old man log into his outlook account and we succeeded and he said “young lady, go in peace. we have accomplished this mission.” what an electrifying way of speaking…

this post almost moved me to tears

Tag yourself, I’m spinch or rainbow sprimkle

I’m kepchup lmao

Brogle and rainbow sprimkle

This is so charming I feel punched in the solar plexus and I’m here for this sort of gentle, sweet violence.

World Heritage Post

i have been blessed by ranibow spimkle, may the world heritage posts bless thee aswell

No Smorking. Parma Jawn

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

as part of their ongoing boycott, Canada will no longer provide the US with totally real long-distance girlfriends who definitely exist

my absolute favourite part of the golden raven is when jeremy says "good thing neil was here when grayson died, he gave jean a good alibi!" and kevin and andrew look at each other like "he fucking killed that guy" and that's actually canon. that happened

Looney Tunes is real and happening outside.

good lord its feet really do spin around in a circle when going fast