March On

me: *turns on playlist*

playlist: chopin nocturne in e flat major :)

me: perfect!! (◡‿◡✿)

playlist: rite of spring :)

Flute/Piccolo: probably cries and asks their parents to buy a new one

Clarinet: freaks out because their parents will d e s t r o y them

Oboe: "oh thank god"

Bassoon: "arE YOU SERIOUS THAT COST $66642069"

Bass clarinet: shrugs

Saxophone: doesn't notice and starts playing on their friend's sax

Trumpet: pulls out their other 3 trumpets

Horn: gathers clues as to their instrument's whereabouts, looks for it for hours, then gives up and goes to sleep

Trombone: buys a p-bone. when you return their instrument to them they refuse to play it

Euphonium: plays on a marching euph. hopes no one notices

Tuba: has to bring their instrument from home in order to play in band. falls over at least 3 times in the process

Percussion: "lmao it wasn't mine anyway"

Violin: cries because they're scared they'll get demoted to second violin

Viola: throws a party. they're free

Cello: waits for you to return it, watches netflix

flutes: you receive a text in the group message: "in case you didn't get my 7 emails, 20 other texts, and 3 letters, the first day of band camp is tomorrow! be there twenty minutes early so we can have a mini sectional! practice tonight! :) :) :)"

clarinets: the section leader's snapchat story is a picture of squidward emblazoned with the date and time of band camp. you feel as if you are being mocked.

saxophones: a group text that reminds you all to bring your two dollars for pizza. you ignore it and decide to bring an expired coupon instead and then act confused when questioned.

trumpets: a text that reads "the rarest pepe will be in the band room tomorrow at 8. do not miss this opportunity."

mellos: none of you send a reminder because you all think someone else is the section leader. actually, the director accidentally chose one of the trumpets as your section leader. a trumpet who graduated.

trombones: wait, WHAT started this morning??

tubas/euphs: you haven't heard from your section leader in two weeks since they called you at two am and whispered "macaroni" into the phone for no apparent reason.

drumline: section leader sneaks into your house and leaves a broken drumhead under your pillow. written on it in sharpie is the threatening message "bring your own water tomorrow u freeloading fuck".

pit: do you even have a section leader? are YOU the section leader? shit!