I’ve recently just decided that I hate my career choice of music. I just never excelled in it in any way and here I am with a masters degree and I’m just sitting around hopeless with no where to be or go or do in my career. Like I knew from the beginning that you don’t go into music for money but go into it for passion but it doesn’t even fulfill and sense of passion that I thought I once had. I did my undergrad in piano and played fine enough but not good enough to pursue any sort of anything on piano and finished my masters degree in composition just hating every piece of music I’ve written. I feel like I came out on the other end of this degree just more aware that I’m not a competent musician. I have zero desire to pick up an instrument and truthfully I’ve been thinking about donating them to my undergrad university becuase they’re just gathering dust here. I don’t enjoy practicing and I can only play a few pieces worth hearing. And out of all the music I’ve written, I don’t think I’m proud of any of it. I can’t even listen to music anymore without feeling a sense of failure towards my musical career. I’m $60,000 in debt into a career path that will provide me nothing and I just want to melt away into the ground and disappear.
