I don't know what I'm doing

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING YEAH ON 923 DAYS LEFT

technically length isn't what determines a run-on sentence, it's just whether you can connect all the words in the sentence in a way that doesn't grammatically require a period

i think it's grammatically iffy but i also think run-on sentences are a great tool for writing characters who are panicking. this character clearly is, and the way the sentence is put together helps with that

thank you!!

Come get this dick-fil-a

I’m tired of y'all reblogging this every Sunday

VOTE JANE

JANE CMON YOU CAN DO IT!! WORMS ARE COOL GUYS

Worms are... Cool? Not evil? Hmm...

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

technically length isn't what determines a run-on sentence, it's just whether you can connect all the words in the sentence in a way that doesn't grammatically require a period

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

the Relationship Ambiguity Zone™️ is a beautiful place to be. safe place to put your characters. put all characters into Relationship Ambiguity Zone. is that guy your mentor or your dad? Ambiguous!!! are you friends or enemies? Ambiguous!!! is it romantic? is it platonic? is it sexual? Ambiguous!!!!!!! never categorize anything ever in the Relationship Ambiguity Zone. just make them fucking weird about each other.

Someone needs to write a fanfic about this asap!

Come get this dick-fil-a

I’m tired of y'all reblogging this every Sunday

hey! Guess what? It’s sunday

>:3