it's-a me, marion

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

this literally isn't true please stop spreading lies

see my problem is if i “listen to my body” it literally only wants to lie down and take naps, all the time

We should have a savory pop star. Pop music by and large is inseparable from candy metaphors both externally (music critics talk about "bubblegum" pop, or call a pop song "cotton candy") and internally (hundreds and hundreds of pop songs with lyrics that refer to candy or sweets). What if there was a pop star that was completely savory-themed. She's singing a sexy club song that's like oh oh ohhh I know you want this soyyy sauce or maybe she's singing a breakup ballad that's like loving youuuuu.... was like eating beef with bouillon cuuuuuubes...

it's really gross how you can be self aware enough to know what's going on in your head but you can't actually stop it from happening. i need to grab it like a pigeon that got stuck in a house and throw it out the window. be free

"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"

*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

"history will absolve me" as the e-mail signature

They should invent sleep that works

kill me once, shame on you. kill me twice how did you do that

"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife

Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by bills and payments

if i hadnt bought that takeout that wasnt even very good on impulse 4 years ago i would be financially stable by now

cruel and unusual that in order to do something you have to begin

was anyone going to tell me that after beginning you then have to continue as well

Grandparents will invent new ways to call you fat