veggie

first watermelon!!! also going to start hand pollinating to try and get more fruits. i google it you have to rub a male flower onto a female flower in order to pollinate watermelon by hand!!

new book came in the mail its about the need for change in the fashion industry

lunch today: corn & poblano chowder (with poblanos from the garden) and some string cheese in there plus a decaf iced coffee

first ripe thai peppers, the plant is just completely stuffed with em waiting to ripen

my anxiety and sadness typically doesn’t have a focus it just feels broad and all consuming but lately it’s been fixating very intently on aging, health, death, my own mortality, losing my mom and others important to me… idk it’s been very supercharged and very specific. it’s making me feel really sad and i feel griefy all the time. i feel worried and scared of things changing. idk i never used to think about the future because it was always just about surviving the present. but now i feel like the future is speeding violently towards me idk. it’s all i can think about now

found a crab spider at work the other day he was so cute?? so yeah we took him outside and he posed for some photos. i think he could tell i was very curious about him.

also trying out little character maps… like which characters interact in the chapters that felt important to me. liking this too. i really like visually laying out stuff like this