whoof want to know

"machine wash cold with like colors" "tumble dry low" how does regular cycle with everything else I own sound?

these days the circus isn't funny and the bread kills you

But it is amazing. It is digital

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

ragebaiting my fat dragon

im so excited for GTA6 i hope it is so bad that it wounds western AAA dev for a decade

*driving in my smart car* Google glass, show me the nearest e-cig shop! *beeping sound* ugh no! Only show ones that accept Bitcoin!

this was considered an outlandish joke in 2014

babys dont even say gogo gaga anymore they just bite you and inject you with their babypoison

Its actually babyvenom. Do you know nothing about babies?

hey buddy figured id give you a heads up i found two bigass birds and paid them 10 bucks each to swoop down when you aren't paying attention and grab one of your arms each and pull as hard as they can to rip you in twain midair. so id start investing in ankle weights or something because you're gonna need em

Cross my heart and rub my tummy, lick my lips and eat a yummy

everybody wants to rule the world

using windows movie destroyer to make youtube soap