socrates was a lil bitch

i know nothing

Socrates- 1982 

who the heck is socrates this is my post

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this

shout-out to the person i overheard today rushing into an antiques shop to ask, very urgently, ‘do you have any silver crosses?’. wishing you well in your fight against the creatures of darkness, friend

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.

When u look so bad a homie comes in just to roast you

IM DYING

I’m him

so many people don't understand how abelist it is to kill your brother with a rock