Hyperbole and a Half - The Motivation Game
this is too accurate for me right now
we're not kids anymore.
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@frostedcrystalshadow
Hyperbole and a Half - The Motivation Game
this is too accurate for me right now

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so remember that worldbuilding website, notebook.ai, that was goin around and everyone was so excited, but it turned out you had to pay a (frankly outrageous) subscription to access any of the best tools?Â
well i have exciting news: World Anvil.Â
hereâs what you get for free:Â
yeah. all of them. double what notebook.ai offers for pay. yeah baby.
iâve only been using this site for like half an hour, but i am in LOVE. please check it out and consider supporting the creators if you can!Â
@withswords
I highly recommend World Anvil
if you relate to having an idea for a story for 4 to 8 years with almost zero progress towards actually writing it down, clap your hands
This post kicked down my door, came into my house and publicly shamed me in front of God, my mother, and my cat.
âDo you want to talk about it or be distracted from itâ is honestly the best thing you can say to me when I say im sad/in pain etc.
this is really good advice to say to anyone who is upset
Alsooo may I add: âdo you want advice or do you just want to vent?â Is also good to add because often unsoliticited advice can further hurt someone who really just wanted a listening ear.
can they stop making really nice doc martens because i love them and i donât have the money
me seeing another pair of cool stompy lesbian boots i canât afford

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listenâŚâŚ. âmy loveâ is literally the strongest and greatest pet name in existence. there is literally nothin better than somone callin you thatâŚ.. especially when things are soft and quiet and they look at you with utter adoration and whisper âwhatâs the matter, my love??â or âi hope everything is okay with you, my loveâ like oh my god?? let me marry you already
âWould you kill me, my love?â
For wakanda, without a doubt
Half-orc fighter: are these windows big enough for someone to jump through?
DM: the windows arenât open.
Half-orc fighter: thatâs not what I asked.
So my therapist has been helping me get to grips with my ADHD, and also the concept that Iâm not shit at being an adult, I just canât do things the way everyone has always told me to do them. Like every single âorganize your lifeâ books have always left me wanting to cry with frustration, and after I got hold of a copy of Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky I realized that was because they primarily focus on âaestheticâ over âfunctionâ. And the function of most standard âorganize your life booksâ is to âmake things look Show Home Perfectâ.
So the standard âhide all your unsightly things by doing xyzâ may look nice for the first week or so, but by the end of the week itâll look like a tornado made of pure inhuman frustration ripped through the house as I try to find the fucking advil.
To give you an example of the kind of hell Iâve been fumbling my way through the last 20 odd years: dishes will be washed and left in the drying wrack but never put away. Which means I canât wash more dishes, which means dishes pile up, which means I canât make food, which means I donât eat, which means my CFS gets worse, which means I donât have the energy to put the dishes away, and so on so forth until I have a meltdown, cry to ETD (who also likely has ADHD but has never had it confirmed) about how I canât cope with life, and then we fix it for a while, but inevitably end up back at square one within about a week.
Pinskyâs solution to this was âremove an obstacle between you and your goal, if that means taking all the doors off your kitchen cabinets to make things easier, so be it.â
And lemme tell you, fucking revolutionary.
Laundry never ends up in the hamper??? why???? is it a closed hamper??? Remove the lid. Throw it out the window. Clothes are now miraculously finding their way into the hamper??? Rejoice????
Mail ends up spread out over every available flat surface? Put a sorting station right where your mail arrives. Put a shredder or âjunkâ basket under it. Shred or dump the junk immediately. Realize you only actually have two real letters that need attention, feel less overwhelmed, pay your bills on time.
Like Iâm not saying this book is miraculous, but it did help me realize that I was effectively torturing myself by trying to conform to certain ideals of âperfect house keepingâ, and presenting a certain image rather than just allowing myself to live in my space as effectively as possible. And why? Why was I doing that? Cause people with different lives and capabilities are perceived as the norm? Fuck that. If this was a physical problem I wouldnât be forcing myself to conform to an ableist standard, so why am I doing it with this?
My lived space will never look a certain way, and thatâs okay. It will never look show home perfect, and thatâs okay. It will likely always be cluttered and eclectic where nothing matches, and thatâs okay. Sometimes I will have odd socks on because sorting them out required too much mental energy, and thatâs okay. Actually fuck sorting socks, just buy all your socks in the same color. Problem solved. Boring sure, but also one less thing to do, which means more time to hyper fixate on fun things. Which really, what else is my life for if not to write screeds and screeds of vampire shit posts, I ask you.
you know what actually pisses me off? when I finally start to feel a smidge of confidence in my writing ability and then some JERK POSTS A SINGLE LINE FROM A TERRY PRATCHETT NOVEL AND ITâS BETTER THAN ANYTHING I WILL EVER WRITE NO MATTER HOW MANY MILLENNIA I SPEND TRYING!
Terry was a professional writer from the age of 17. He worked as a journalist which meant that he had to learn to research, write and edit his own work very quickly or else heâd lose his job.
He was 23 when his first novel was published. After six years of writing professionally every single day. The Carpet People was a lovely novel, from a lovely writer, but almost all of Terryâs iconic truth bomb lines come from Discworld.
The Colour of Magic, the first ever Discworld novel was published in 1983. Terry was 35 years old. He had been writing professionally for 18 years. His career was old enough to vote, get married and drink. We now know that at 35 he was, tragically, over half way through his life. And do you know what us devoted, adoring Discworld fans say about The Colour of Magic? âDonât start with Colour of Magic.â
It is the only reading order rule we ever give people. Because itâs not that great. Donât get me wrong, very good book, although Iâll be honest Iâve never been able to finish it, but itâs nowhere near his later stuff. Compare it to Guards Guards, The Fifth Elephant, the utterly iconic Nightwatch and it pales in comparison because even after nearly 20 years of writing, half a lifetime of loving books and storytelling Terry was still learning.
He was a man with a wonderful natural talent, yes. But more importantly he worked and worked and worked to be a better writer. He was writing up until days before he died. Â He spent 49 years learning and growing as a writer, taking so much joy in storytelling that not even Alzheimerâs could steal it from him. He wouldnât want that joy stolen from you too.
Terry was a wonderful, kind, compassionate, genius of a writer. And all of this was in spite of many many people telling him he wasnât good enough. At the age of five his headmaster told him that he would never amount to anything. He died a knight of the realm and one of the most beloved writers ever to have lived in a country with a vast and rich literary tradition. He wouldnât let anyone tell him that he wasnât good enough. And he wouldnât want you to think you arenât good enough. He especially wouldnât want to be the reason why you think you arenât good enough.Â
Youâre not Terry Pratchett.Â
You are you.
And Terry would love that.Â
I only ever had a chance to talk to Terry Pratchett once, and that was in an autograph line. Iâd bought a copy of The Carpet People, which was his very first book, and he looked at it with a faint air of concern.  âYou realise that I wrote that when I was very young,â he said, in warning.
âYes,â I said.  âBut I like seeing how authors grow.â
He brightened and reached for his pen.  âThatâs all right then,â he said, and signed.
venom.
31% on Rotten Tomatoes
35% on Metacritic
2/5 on Empire
1/5 stars on the Rolling Stone
âa massively overqualified castâ
âWhat went wrong? Everything, actually.â
âNo one has to fake a bad review of thisâ
âThe ending suggests that thereâs aâŚsequelâŚAudiences have suffered enough.â
Also:
95% of Google users liked it
89% of Rotten Tomato audiences liked it
The average audience rating was 4.4/5 (18,619 reviews)
My mother, who doesnât usually like superhero movies, says that this movie deserves at least 80% and thatâs really something
Critics: Who could possibly enjoy this disaster of a movie?
Op:

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I really want a movie where thereâs this Dark Brooding Male Hero whoâs like, a total badass, and during all the fight scenes he keeps getting flashbacks to happy images of his wife, and like his whole narrative is framed around his wife, and all the other heroes on his team know that heâs got this passion and vengeance and think it all has to do with his dead wife⌠but then near the end of the movie his wife shows up and heâs like âhey babeâ theyâre all shocked and theyâre like, âWait I thought all your power and passion came from avenging your dead wife?â and heâs like âno bro, I just really love my wife, sheâs really cool, sheâs what keeps me goingâ like⌠a reverse fridge
Unfridge your wives 2017
Unfridge your wives 2018
âThis whole saving the world thing has kept me from seeing my wife for like, three days and I was really starting to miss her!â
ââŚI donât understand. You said they destroyed your wifeâŚâ âWeâd just saved up enough to buy a house. She had spent months on the interior design and weâd decorated it and these assholes levelled it with their oh-Iâm-such-a-bad-guy lazer show. You have no idea how upset she was! It totally destroyed her! I told her Iâd get vengeance, especially for our porch swing.â
âYouâve got to be joking.â
âIt was a really good porch swing!â
im only saying this once
the only acceptable jobs for spider-man
broke high schooler
broke college student
freelance photographer
high school teacher
unpaid intern
pizza delivery guy
research assistant for doomed scientific project
guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos
being spider-man
and thats IT i dont want any of this âhes a genius tech ceo making millionsâ SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.
how about dog walker while in spiderman costume
you. you get it
im imagining âbeing spider-manâ as his full-time gig and i just
he has a patreon. the description is just the words âIâm Spider-Manâ and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background
Two kinds of stealth: 1) There were no witnesses 2) Leave no witnesses aliveÂ
Next time you go walking around barefoot in the waterâŚ
NOPE
No worries, thatâs a Bobbit Worm. They live on the ocean floor, and unless youâre able to withstand a ton of pressure, you likely wouldnât have your toesies nipped off by one since they live deeper than people walk on the ocean floor. Bobbit Worms are kinda cool. And they were named after Laurena Bobbit, who cut off her abusive husbandâs penis and threw it out of her car window as she drove off.
sir thatâs my emotional support assassin

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whoever said scooby doo isnât intellectual: explain this then