what's going on

I can’t believe if the universe had aligned slightly differently that I would’ve missed seeing this

me looking at literally anything you paint mmghfm. teckstchure....

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

I love the notes saying this femme knows exactly what she's doing and it's all part of her flirting technique. You get it.

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need better friends

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need to be better friends

unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british

I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days

the hole isnt even that bad

"rocky would hate stratt because she hurt his bestie" plausible, even likely. "rocky wouldn't hate stratt because he understands the stakes of needing to save the actual world" nuanced, intellectually stimulating. "stratt would hate rocky because her ex wife whom she killed is happier with him" intriguing, avant-garde.

#7 billion fucking people on earth weren't enough but you'll die for the alien. sure. no yeah. sure.

@jared-wormsboy i am crying uncontrollably

I reference this in conversation sometimes assuming everyone knows about the Owl Attack Sex Playlist and i look fucking unhinged