I don't know shit about fuck

thank you for following me I have nothing to offer

"I want molly" "I want percs" well you're getting leeches

person who genuinely hates themselves so much they can barely look anyone in the eye: i must remain humble lest my hideous ego spiral out of control

isnt it really cool how your memories can just physically attack you at random

it's so important to get a useless degree so that no one will ever hire you #Truth

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Translator? Why not trans now?

My parents just read this post aloud to me and asked me if I’d seen it. I don’t know how to react.

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

Happy centennial to the turtle who bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river