Fandom's Have Overtaken My Life

“hmm?” ilya mumbles, still not entirely awake.

“ilya, please,” shane pleads. ilya knows that raspy voice. it’s his horny voice.

Ilya opens his eyes a little wider, and finds Shane naked with an achingly hard dick. Ilya moves to swallow him down, and it takes less than a minute before he’s drinking Shane’s release. Then he’s immediately rolling his head back onto the pillow, too exhausted to do much more.

“Thank you,” Shane pants, sounding grateful.

Ilya tries to get out a “anytime” but it comes out sleep-garbled.

——-

After breakfast, Ilya and Shane are reading through some brand contracts on the living room couch, Shane rested in between Ilya’s thighs.

Ilya is focusing on his reading, while Shane is basically vibrating in Ilya’s lap.

“Shane, what is up?”

“Will you fuck me right now? Please?” Shane begs.

Ilya’s dick perks up at that, and he’s immediately getting up and getting himself undressed.

——

In the shower not 30 minutes later, Shane is hard again, just from the water running down his body.

“Baby,” Ilya says after clearing the shampoo from his eyes. “What is with you today? You must be ovulating.”

Shane rolls his eyes, but drags Ilya’s hand to his cock and makes him start stroking.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me? I can’t get myself to stay soft.”

Ilya chuckles, twisting Shane’s dick in his hand. “Don’t worry moy lyubov, I am happy to service you anytime.” Ilya leans down to press a kiss to Shane’s enlarged head, then rubs until Shane’s spilling out in his hand.

——

Later, they are in bed, Ilya playing his New York Times games of the day, Shane reading his hockey book.

Well, trying to. He’s actually trying enormously hard not to let his dick get hard again. This is the 6th time today, Ilya getting him off with his mouth and hands multiple times, and fucking him once earlier on the couch.

Ilya looks over to find Shane’s hard in his PJ pants he often wears without underwear.

“Shane,” he says lightly.

“I know. I literally can’t help it. Just leave it and maybe it will go away.”

“Okay…” Ilya says with disbelief.

Not ten minutes later Shane is squirming, trying not to touch his dick that hasn’t gotten any softer.

Ilya chuckles and pulls down Shane’s cotton pants. “I told you, you’re ovulating,” Ilya teases.

Shane glares down at Ilya but lets out a loud moan as Ilya wraps his lips around him.

Unless.

You consider that the Metros know that Shane absolutely does know how to fight. They've all done checking clinics with Shane. They've all wrestled and roughhoused with Shane. He's strong and he's fast and he wants to win.

The Metros understand that Shane doesn't fight, not because he can't, but because he's a little too good at it. And Shane generally doesn't even like violence. He likes to win by playing the game, not hurting the other team.

Shane learns pretty quickly not to play any audio from Ilya in public, both because he doesn't want to blow up Ilya's spot and reveal how secretly sappy his boyfriend is, and because there's no telling when Ilya will launch into sex talk in the middle of an otherwise mundane message.

years into this, he's driving Hayden to the airport after hosting him for a long weekend. a message from Ilya comes in, starting with "hey baby, coach just called..." according to the iPhone speech-to-text description. it's short, anyway, and Shane doesn't want to read while driving on the highway — he has no choice to press play.

"Hey baby, Coach just called and said practice is pushed back an hour tonight, I told him that's fine for us. Also, I was just showering and I have a hickey on my dick —"

Shane turns bright red and almost swerves into oncoming traffic trying to turn the phone off.

"Did not know this was possible. You gave me dick hickey," Ilya's voice continues despite Shane's best efforts.

As Shane and Ilya are going through the box, Ilya pulls out a little Centaurs branded notebook, with "Shane's Fun Facts!" written on the front in sharpie. Ilya is understandably delighted.

"What is this?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear, quickly yanking it out of the reach of Shane who immediately tries to swipe it out of his hands.

"It's nothing," says Shane, but the way his cheeks have gone pink behind his freckles tells another story.

"Uh-uh. It cannot be nothing if you don't want me to see it this badly."

Turning his back to Shane so he can't easily grab at it, Ilya opens to a random page and reads in Shane's 8-year-old scrawl:

Lightning bolts are five times hotter than the sun. That is very hot!

Ilya is grinning even wider now.

"Wow, Solnyshko, that is a fun fact."

"Fuck off," Shane says. He doesn't even attempt to grab it again, just kind of collapses and bonks his head into Ilya's shoulder. "I used to have trouble making friends as a kid. Dad suggested I start collecting facts to use as icebreakers. Y'know, to get conversations going."

"Did they work?" asks Ilya, tilting his head so that it rests on top of Shane's as his husband gives an almighty sigh.

"I think they made it worse, actually."

Ilya turns to another page and reads it out loud.

"Oology is the study of eggs. It's so cool because it looks like there are three eggs in the word!"

"Oh god," says Shane, burying his face further into Ilya's neck.

"I think you knew all the worst kids in Canada," says Ilya, putting down the book and wrapping his arms around Shane. "Those facts would have worked on me."

"Really?" asks Shane, glancing up at Ilya's face to see if he's teasing him, but Ilya is being perfectly serious.

"Of course. You came up to me and started telling me fun facts straight away, remember? 'I don't think you can smoke here.' 'Wow, Rozanov, you are the best player ever to watch.'"

"Fuck off, I didn't say that," laughs Shane.

"Well, it was something like that," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to the top of Shane's head. "So at least the fun facts worked when it mattered, yes? Imagine where we'd be if you hadn't come over to break the ice."

And Shane tugs Ilya even closer.

Yuna Hollander is actually a member of the Japanese Imperial Family. For context, the Japanese Royal line is strictly male only so no women can inherit the throne and any females of the family who marry normal people, have to give up their titles. (Princess Mako famously did this in real life)

So what if Yuna was a Japanese princess?

She went to McGill as a foreign exchange student to study in a place where she could have a few years as a normal person before starting royal duties but fell for the handsome hockey player David while there. Since she is a woman, she isn't going to inherit and although she only has sisters, one of them can have a son to carry the bloodline so she decided to give up her place in the family to marry David and become a commoner.

She is perfectly happy with this outcome and makes a life for herself in Canada. She and David have Shane and although they did occasionally visit some members of her family when Shane was small so Shane could meet his granddad (who happens to be the Emperor), because she gave up her claim, Shane is also technically excluded from the throne and the visits were so low key that people outside Japan forgot she even existed.

Besides, they stopped visiting after a while because Shane's hockey career was taking off.

Unfortunately, the Japanese Imperial Family is facing a succession crisis due to the lack of males in the family line, and inside Japan, Shane is starting to look like a good candidate for the next Crown Prince.

Shane, and the wider Western World, have no idea about any of this. Ilya eventually learns and almost loses his mind.

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

Ilya + consent & concern

The tunamelt happens. Rose happens. And while Shane and Rose are still being papped constantly (before The Conversation), Ilya gets the call from Alexei.

It hits him harder than he ever thought it would. Sure, it's his father, the man he's always desperately wanted the approval of, all the while knowing he'd never get it. Sure, he wanted to be there, looking after him. And sure, he knew that it would always still hurt, losing his papa before Ilya could be himself with him, make their relationship a bit better. But with Sha-Hollander being off happy with Rose Landry (ugh), it feels like the floor has just fallen out from beneath him, and he's now in a free fall.

He's on autopilot as he boards the plane, already starting to make arrangements. He's numb as he arrives and starts signing every contract or payment order that's put under his nose. He bears it, insides hollow, as one by one relatives cry at him, scorn him for not being a better son (better ATM), beg him for money, then yell at him.

It's hours before he's left alone. Hours before he's allowed to retreat into a glass of vodka, and by that point, the numbness is a blessing. He hasn't cried in years, and some small part of him knows that right now, if he let himself, he wouldn't just be crying over his father, or the way his family treat him. He takes another swig of vodka before his mind can turn down a dangerous rabbit hole.

And Ilya is like "No I'm out for drinks with the guys. Did you not see that we won, Hollander?"

And Shane texts back like "Of course I saw, that's why I'm texting." Then a few seconds later: "Download this app right now. Be discreet." with an app store link. And Ilya texts back like '??? 🤨 Shane, have you been hacked?'

And Shane is like 'Just download the fucking app, asshole. This is your reward. Username is Jane2481. Fucking HURRY.'

Ilya who's an incredible musician/singer, who won Eurovision less than a year ago, who is the perfect candidate to be held up by the regime at the Olympics to go "we aren't just superior sportsmen, we're superior artistic patrons too".

Ilya who finds Shane fascinating as they stumble through communicating (why would Ilya have to have learned English? What reason would Shane have for even thinking about learning Russian?) and get Shane back to the Canadian delegation. Ilya who shows up to all of the Team Canada games because he's curious. Shane who finds Ilya in the stands every time because once is coincidence, twice is freaky, thrice? That's a pattern.

Ilya who, post Russia's Eurovision, post Olympics, is signed to an American label. His popularity explodes. It's incredible, but most importantly it's a way out. He's proven himself to be a good investment and it's easier for his label to sponsor his citizenship in the US than it is to continue to deal with Russian banks and laws and royalties.

Shane who finds his mind wandering to the pretty Russian musician who sang at the opening and closing ceremonies, who he never told his name, who he never got the name of. Who he couldn't really have a conversation with but who made him feel safe regardless.

About a year later, fresh off his first cup win, he gets a google alert. A entertainment magazine posted an article with a photo from the Olympics of him and the pretty Russian. And now Shane has a name. And a screenshot of said pretty Russian boy tweeting publicly "don't suppose a stanley cup winning captain would have the time to show a russian around montreal?" There's no capitalization which Shane finds endearing, and he manages to get Ilya's number.

Ilya has a concert in the Metros' arena. Shane sneaks in easily because it's his arena.

If they fuck in the Metros locker room with Shane bent over the bench in front of his stall well.