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Does she have a little bed in front of the heating vent there

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

pitch for my new tarot card “The Emoji”

Your fave is problematic: Pyaari Edition

Could mean good things!

Hey @evilwizard. So, you up to anything new lately?

haha it’s funny you ask

How the trip feels when you leave your cat at home

You... brought her home, right? Called her owners? Did something to get her generally in the direction of the people who certainly must miss their daughter dearly?

no they just took a picture for tumblr and then threw the cat down a sewer drain

yay!

phineas and ferb heritage post