
ojovivo
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

bliss lane
tumblr dot com
$LAYYYTER
Misplaced Lens Cap
EXPECTATIONS

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

izzy's playlists!

blake kathryn
Not today Justin

Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Andulka
★

shark vs the universe
almost home

seen from France
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seen from United Kingdom
seen from India

seen from Türkiye
seen from T1

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from Colombia
seen from Kenya
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seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from Vietnam

seen from France
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@freezin4books

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first time shane meets svetlana ilya isn’t actually around. Shane comes to boston to spend a rare weekend with ilya but when he lets himself inside he’s met with svetlana who acting like they’ve known each other for years launches into a rant about how she just found out her boyfriend secretly got married behind her back for citizenship which isn’t what she’s mad about she’s more mad that he lied and she had to find out when she was going through papers on his desk and found the prenup but she broke up with him and took his giant golden doodle which she is stashing at ilya’s house for the time being and shane’s just standing there like he stands having no idea what to say to her which is not helped by the fact he’s trying to keep a respectful distance from the dog who keeps trying to stick his nose into his crotch and svetlana is acting like she doesn’t notice but then they bond because his boyfriend once threatened a citizenship marriage to someone else so he can kinda relate to the feeling so svetlana is like “fuck this i need a drink and you’re coming with” and drags Shane to a bar with her which of course gets photographed but before those pictures are posted ilya comes home to find an empty house and a giant dog sleeping on his couch and he’s so confused he takes a picture and texts shane is like “this is either the best of day of my life and you bought me a dog or the worst day of my life because you’ve been cursed by a witch and turned into a dog but don’t worry i will break curse and if i can’t i’ll still love you forever” and shane’s honestly a little too tipsy to deal with the way that text makes him feel like he wants to cry so he texts back “come pick us up” ilya responds “us???” and shane sends a video of svetlana holding the bartender hostage by drunkingly retelling her breakup story AGAIN but in russian this time so the poor guy has no idea what she’s saying. anyway ilya picks them up and brings them home and he can’t hide the stupid grin on his face and how light he feels that he didn’t even have to lock his too favorite people in a room together so he can introduce them like two feral cats and so when they get home he makes them all tea with slices of lemon and they sit on the couch, the dog despite being almost twice her size curled up in Svetlana’s lap and they gossip about svetlana’s ex and not once mention hockey and shane’s like “wow this must be how it feels to be a normal person in a normal relationship” anyway when the photos finally get released of shane and svetlana drunk at a bar and ilya coming to pick them up everyone online is confused as fuck as to what is going on because literally no context of the three of them being in the same room makes any sense and for the whole weekend people are asking for proof of life of shane because they all think ilya killed him for stealing his girlfriend or something stupid like that meanwhile shane hasn’t gone on his phone for 72 hours because once svetlana leaves shane and ilya spend the whole weekend fucking only coming up for air to eat and use the bathroom so when Shane gets papped at the airport there obviously aren’t any hickies because they aren’t fucking stupid but there is still the sense that he just got mauled by a bear (no pun intended) so at the next press conference Shane is forced to make a statement that no there was no threat to his safety while he was in boston and him and ilya just happen to have a mutual friend
Snuggle bugs 🐞
quotes taken from the source
(the 4th one is Bumpus wanting dinner, friends can back me up on this)
come back to me most perfect of comics
The Odyssey if the suitors were competent…
Go Check out Neet- she’s awesome (her socials are at the bottom of the linked page if you want to see some of the training videos for this and other silliness)

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my latest piece for the @startrekswimsuitspecial <3
Found this on instagram and now I’m gonna be singing it all day:
(@thepacificpals on insta)
I am a glorified office administrator who understands server hardware why am I the only person in this company who gets what social engineering is?
Total stranger on the phone who we’ve never spoken to before: I have power of attorney over the CEO of this corporation and we are a customer of yours. Please change the administrator password on the server to XXXXX
My boss, putting on white grease paint and a red wig: Oh, of course! Let’s do it quickly so that you’ll want to keep working with us since you’re going to be making business decisions!
Me: I would sell you to satan for one corn chip and I’m allergic to corn but before you do this maybe you should call someone who is actually on our contact list for our customer and see if they’ve ever heard of this stranger.
My boss, looking through a selection of shoes that honk when you walk: Oh, but she said that it was very important that none of the employees know what was happening because they’re making staffing changes.
Me: As your lawyer I recommend that you just call a single one of our contacts and see if they’ve ever heard of her name.
My boss, shoving all of our technicians into a VW beetle: You’re not my lawyer.
Me: HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW? I COULD BE! YOU SHOULD MAYBE CHECK ON THAT.
TIL everyone’s employee ID at my company is the last five of their SSN.
Boss: On the bright side, it’s only the last five
Me: YOU CAN COMMIT FRAUD WITH FOUR
Security firms that are hired to check the security of banks will often use the following tactic: They will walk up to the teller in a suit with their ID badge and a clipboard and go:
“Hello I am [name] from [security firm] we’ve been hired to verify the security of the facility I need to see your computers.”
“Erm…I’ll have to verify that with my managers.”
“Congratulations, you have just passed the security verification.” [Scribbles on clipboard] “But in all seriousness I do need to verify your security so I need to see your computers.”
“Oh okay.” AND LETS THEM IN.
“Social engineering” is a way too fancy word for what it is. I know a guy (not personally) who broke several people out of prison by essentially writing “Greetings, please release this person, signed, whoever the judge is” on a piece of paper and faxing it there. Because no one would have a fax machine in their own house I guess.
not to derail, but holy shit that praxis
I’ve had clerks just give out a whole ass SSN when I asked.
An inspection in 2014 found the password for the Louvre’s surveillance camera system was “louvre.”
shane x dependent 💫
*flash warnings from 1:05-1:20 + 2:05-2:07*
tags: @tiptoethruthetulips
Reunion when ??? Marvel, REUNION WHEN ?
Finee I’ll do it myself

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Ah yes, the famous proverb. See no evil, hear no evil, smell no evil.
Tonight on Game Changer:
The world's most insane game of telephone featuring six comedians, three artists, and a PA with the temperament of a shaking chihuahua being held at gunpoint
Looking at some beautiful quilts by Michael James to cheer me up
Some more quilts, these all by Pamela Studstill

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
Hit "view post" and lost it