"she has an angst radar"

cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today

when i talk shit about golfing, please know that none of it is about mini golf. it could never be about her. she's done nothing wrong in her entire life. god's perfect little putt putt.

The trope where people don't recognize each other because it's been so long since they last interacted and they've both changed so much that they're basically strangers UNTIL one of them does their Signature Thing™ and the other just stops dead because oh. It's YOU. All at once it's so clearly you

i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??

President Biden... I've just learned that Microsoft Outlook is also being used by the Chinese Communist Party to spy on taxpaying American citizens please pass legislation to ban this dangerous software also while you still can

And teams

the entire concept of linkedin is probably a chinese psy-op so that shit's gotta go too

don’t forget Canvas

u used to be able to put a dvd in your computer. and then u could watch it

I could get over anything as long as I have something new to be obsessed with

it’s SO funny that the phrase “among us” is like permanently ruined for everybody now

noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”

One of life's biggest cons is how often one task turns out to be several smaller tasks in a trench coat.