ur fav butch

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

let's all have a fun time looking up new words when we encounter them to see what they mean before incorporating them into our vocabularies

"drug seeking" as a patient one of the most dogshit stupid concepts of all time. fuuuck everybody look out this guy came in here expecting medical treatment. better watch out in case he goes to a restaurant and starts food seeking

i think i deserve $7,000,000 for everything i've been through tbh.

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

I hate cigarettes so much I hate that smoking is becoming cool again I hate that we're becoming contrarian hipsters about this disgusting habit that has literally killed so many people and destroyed so many lives I'm so serious we need to become absolute killjoys about this again it's time to go 90s scolds on cigarettes until the scourge is wiped out entirely.

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

the phantom of the opera and the hunchback of notre dame? opposite ends of same spectrum 

And beauty and beast falls somewhere in the middle

someone do a graph

This is the science I’m here for

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

this literally isn't true please stop spreading lies