Feeling v buzzy and anxious about my cystoscopy tomorrow
It’s a REAL wrestling match with my brain as I go “well it’s gonna go fine, this is why the dr prescribed you Ativan, and they’ll also numb you up, and you’ve actually had something similar to this procedure done before when you were like 7-8, but that was worse than this is going to be” and my brain goes BUT HURT?? SCARY?? BLOOD?? UTI AFTER POSSIBLY????
And I go right well, okay, yes, but we’re getting this done because BOTH your PCP and your urologist want to figure out why you’re having a weird symptom that makes no sense and could be a strange baseline but could also be as serious as cancer (unlikely, though!), so we do need to do it. And the internet says that the whole procedure takes 5-20 minutes, and sure UTIs suck but they’re not the end of the world, and even though you got a UTI like clockwork after every time you had sex with scone, it’s also not a guarantee after this procedure anyways
The American urological association says there’s only a 3% cancer rate in people with microhematuria (me) overall, and a 1% rate in studies between 2010 and 2019. My urologist already did a cytology exam and there are no cancer cells, BUT cystoscopy is the best way to detect any kind of bladder cancer if it’s there, and will otherwise let them detect any other abnormalities too. The fact that my urologist is following up on this is very important and very good because people are under-referred for treatment, so also extra kudos to my PCP for that too.
Also 80% of cases of asymptomatic microhematuria (me) are idiopathic, benign, and just need monitoring for change. Odds are everything is fine.
Like I’m 87% sure that nothing is actually wrong, because nothing feels wrong, and nothing about how my urinary tract feels or behaves has changed in the last year, and the only change that has occurred under a microscope is that the amount of microscopically detectable blood in my urine has actually gone down (probably due to the fact that I’m not eating aleve like candy, because qulipta is a magic drug that works on my migraines), just not to sub-clinical levels.
I AM JUST SCARE OKAY. SCARE LIKE CAT GOING TO THE VET. But my meds will work better on me than Artemis’ do on her, and I have the presence of mind to not bite or scratch anyone trying to Do Medicine on me, and I am allowed to cry just like I do for every Pap smear and like Artemis does in the car on the way to and from the vet and also while waiting in the vet’s office.
Brain it’s gonna be okay and I really just need you to go to bed instead of staying up fretting. You’ll feel so much better after you have a quick shower and put yourself to bed. Promise.
