Or maybe he’s just ordering a decaf.

Maybe she’s ordering sugar free because she’s diabetic, and you’re about to put her six feet under.

Or maybe she’s just ordering sugar free,

Maybe they’re ordering non-dairy because they’re intolerant, and you’re about to ruin their day. Maybe they’re allergic, and you’re about to sponsor an all black event in an open field.

Or maybe they’re just ordering non-dairy.

Maybe they ordered gluten free because they can’t process it, and you’re about to destroy their digestive tract.

Or maybe they’re just ordering gluten free.

Maybe they’re ordering this way just because they don’t want the food, for whatever reason.

My Dear Kiddo,

I wish you were here during this holiday season! You’d fit right in with the kids and cat (his picture attached). You might be around the same age as C (19). He’s in college but commutes, so he didn’t exactly have to travel to get here for the holidays. A just turned 15 and I had no idea what to get him this year. What do you get a 15 year old boy? He wants to go on Big Brother someday. Maybe I can get him some kind of overpriced Big Brother merch. L and D, the twins, are 11 ½ so they’re still pretty easy to shop for. Girls are always easier to buy for than boys, I think. When in doubt, nail polish and stuffed animals. D is still obsessed with rainbows and unicorns so she’s easy.

We don’t have a big holiday dinner ready or anything. I’m not much of a cook, and our idea of a family dinner is usually on the couch watching Bob’s Burgers. Mr. P and L like trying new recipes, but since they’re both vegetarian, it’s usually pasta or bread that they make. I love to bake, though, and I make amazing pumpkin muffins. There would definitely be a pumpkin muffin waiting here for you, and of course coffee- Mr. P and I both love Starbucks blonde roast. (How is C 19, in college, and still doesn’t like coffee? Are we sure he’s my kid?)

The decorations are up, though you won’t be surprised to hear that we don’t really go overboard on those either. The plastic tree that gets cobbled together like a reverse dissection every November is clumsily assembled in the corner. It’s covered in so many ornaments you can barely tell it’s a tree, let alone a plastic one. With four kids who went to daycare, preschool, etc. we got a LOT of crappy construction paper bells and play-doh stars to hang on it. I know most of them were not worth keeping or hanging, but for some reason I do anyway. They’re not fancy or even very pretty, but they were made by our family and they’re ours, so on the tree they go. If you have made ornaments as a kid, know that I would hang them up as well. Besides the tree, we have the Elf on the Shelf, which L and D know is not real but they play along anyway. Maybe you would be able to help me find fun hiding places for it every morning. We’ve had it since they were 6, so after 5 holiday seasons, I’m pretty much out of creative Elf on the Shelf options. And you know I’m not much for Pinterest, so I don’t really think to look up fun Elf ideas or anything.

We definitely would welcome you into our home this holiday season. Even though you are not here physically, wherever you are at in your life, I want you to know that you are loved and valued. I care about you just because you are you. I believe that you are destined for joy, growth and freedom. I am sorry for any pain that others have caused you and I want you to know that any negative self talk you tell yourself is not representative of your beautiful spirit. Please give yourself the gifts of love and patience this holiday season. You are strong and I believe in you.

I’ll be thinking of you this year when we have our coffee and hot cocoa and listen to 80s music (we don’t do Christmas music) when the kids open gifts. (Mr. P said to me one year, “Can’t we put on Christmas music? I said, it’s Christmas, this is music, as Duran Duran played in the background.) I don’t have a gift for you to unwrap, but I give you my love and acceptance. I hope they fit just right.

Love, 

Mrs. P

Well my friend I cannot believe a year has gone by and it’s that special time of year. I love and hate it all at once which is so weird. I hate the cost and the preparation but I love the decorations, the lights twinkling different colours and eating xmas dinner!

So when you are with us I hope the preparation has gone well for us all. I cant wait you see you again and we all want to give you a big hug.

Then we can get straight to business and see what rubbish gifts auntie Anne has given us this year, that can go straight to the charity shop lol!! But if course she means well and gifts are given with love! She just has no taste !

After gifts we can all put on our daft xmas jumpers, hubbies favourite is a snowman one! It is truly awful but we all get a laugh and you will love it. I’ll buy you one as a present! It always reminds me of the movie Bridget Jones diary which is funny!

Then I hope you will help peel the potatoes lol. I hate doing it but I love the chatting that goes on when we all pull together and all the silly jokes. You may have to get some jokes ready!! And we can have some Baileys Irish cream whilst we wait on our dinner cooking.

We do the full turkey, roast and mashed potatoes, parsnips, carrots, gravy, Yorkshire puddings and some veggie nut roast as some of your family are veggie. Then chocolate cake for the girls and lemon mousse for the guys as they like that, plus the real treat. After Eight mints ha ha!!

I always make a xmas cake too. I stir love into it and I hope you can feel and taste it with us.

Then to a soppy cheesy movie! I love the awful cheesy films where you know the outcome from the beginning, like a romcom!. They meet, the argue, they get back together and you feel fuzzy and happy after it lol. It would be good if real life were like it but sometimes things work out that way! Or of course a Harry Potter..

I hope you have a great year and all your dreams and hopes and wishes DO come true. I send you the love of our family to keep you safe and warm. I am so looking forward to our xmas together.

Sending hugs xxxx

Mama Hutch

Happy Holidays, sweetie!

Hope all is well with you! I’m starting to get things straightened up for the season…you know I’m not the neatest housekeeper! But, it’s always home, no matter if I’ve had the chance to dust!

It’s finally getting chilly here. It’s starting to remind me of those Minnesota winters I grew up in. Did I ever tell you about holidays at Granny’s? Oh, the fresh spruce in the living room and that silver tinsel that got everywhere…that the cats would eat. We used to laugh to find sparkly “presents” in the litter box! Granny would put the oldies on the record player, and bake up a storm. I found a picture of Auntie Kara (in red) and me (pushing my old doll that used to be Mima’s) way back when at Granny’s on Christmas Eve. Granny told us she had a special deal with Santa: he’d stop at her house first so there would be a few things waiting for us that night after church, and then on the way back to the North Pole, he’d swing by our house so we had a few more things to wake up to in the morning. It was so magical to know that Granny had an in with Santa himself! We didn’t have a whole lot of money growing up, but we never felt like we were missing out on anything because of times like those.

There’s nothing like coming in from the cold to smell those cookies baking and hearing big-band music. I still do that to this day. I am thankful you could make it home this year to help with the cookies. I’ll pretend I don’t see when you sneak a taste of the batter, because I KNOW you do it! HA! Who do you think you got it from? I do that myself! And you’d better believe we’re going to watch “A Christmas Story”! You know I have a soft spot for that movie! And then we’ll watch your favorite, too. I think Auntie Lizzie is having her Hanukkah party if you want to attend that as well! They’re adding lights to the garden at work behind the hospital, so that should be pretty if you have time to go see that. The Parade of Lights is coming up: this is about the only town I can think of that has Jedis and Stormtroopers marching in the holiday parade. It’s far from where I grew up in the cold and snow, but it feels like home.

Remember that we love you, and that no matter where you are, we’re thinking about you and are so proud of you for being YOU!

Hope you enjoyed your visit!

Love,

Mama Kris