PANG !

everything going downhill but at least there’s still phone in bed time am I right.. ahah am I right

i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]

i fear that some of you take yourselves far too seriously for adults who log into tumblr every day

i love explaining the etymology of the word "rickroll" because the story starts with "ok, so at one point 4chan applied a filter to everyone's posts that changed the word egg to duck"

i know we're not supposed to say this but i literally love being alone and going on the computer

One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"

if "29" is your idea of an older woman you have a flickering pale aura and you will not survive daylight saving time