Effervescent Epiphanies

someone could probably say something pretty about fossils, constellations, and stars in the sky

Digital de-aging is bad not just because it always looks creepy as fuck no matter how much money they pour into it, but because it deprives me of getting to see the fucking black magic of a) the casting director somehow finding someone who looks unnervingly like the original actor despite not being related at all and b) the actors completely convincing me that they are, in fact, the same person at different times in their life.

And occasionally, the amusement of sticking a bad wig and some makeup on the original actor and just demanding we accept they're a teenager now.

people are so weird about cnc and I always just want to look them in the eyes and say “you are getting mad at people for playing pretend. you are getting mad at people for saying ‘raaar! I’m gonna getcha!’ you are not a serious person.”

so much ink and tears have been spilled theorizing that rape kink is about trauma and social anxieties and power fantasies and sure maybe. but I think we’re just mammals who like pretend danger in our play just like every other mammal ever. because we have evolved to find that fun. and the only difference between play-wrestling in bed and pulling out the fuzzy handcuffs is commitment to the bit

the worst thing about all those dracula adaptations that recast mina as a pure wilting heroine caught in a dark romance with the sexy evil vampire who's obsessed with her, is that that story already exists. my girl my queen the sexy evil obsessive vampire of all of our dreams carmilla karnstein is RIGHT THERE!! laura, the pure sweet heroine who cannot resist the dark sexyevil allure of the vampire who won't leave her alone is RIGHT THERE. the people do not want dracula. the people yearn for carmilla.

#carmilla also contains the Career Vampire Hunter guy everyone thinks van helsing is #van helsing is a goofy dutch professor. BARON VORDENBURG is a career vampire hunter #carmilla literally has EVERYTHING dracula adaptations want. EVERYTHING (via @mayhemchicken)

ikanzame!!! your people of virginia desire you carnally!!!!

tv show like grey's anatomy except they're veterinarians. all the soap opera drama but there's creatures all over the place. "is that a gerbil on your scrubs or are you just excited to see me" but it's actually the gerbil, he's a patient and we can't be having sex right now.

the characters still wax poetic via voiceover about how the surgery of the day is just like their own tumultuous personal lives but the surgery in question is like. neutering a bunch of kittens.

which is of course exactly like Dr. Riverbeans trying to decide if he wants to be a father. it's such a huge decision, and he just doesn't know what to do! if only someone had made the decision for him by gently anesthetizing him as a child and fucking. cutting his balls off.

little does he know that his girlfriend, hot livestock veterinarian Dr. Josta, is about to get kicked in the head by a horse patient so hard that she's in a coma for months because the actress needs time away to film a supporting role in the new live action polly pocket movie

hello friendly reminder that you do not need a special occasion to use nice things! if you wait long enough your nice bath bomb won't be as fizzy! your favourite fruits will go out of season! candles are meant to be burned, not looked at! you're not enjoying your special tea if it's just sitting in your cupboard! you're allowed to have nice and special things on completely ordinary days! heck, it might just make that day special!!