idek anymore

i have POPCORN LUNG from dust. i EAT SPIDERS every day. a pox upon thee, miscreant, for five thousand years! and your DOG, too!

bad news, boss. the spiders warehouse is out of stock again this month. they said some guy in a cave keeps buying up all their shipments.

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

I appreciate the people reassuring me in the comments so much haha but don’t worry I wasn’t upset! I found it funny + it was an understandable mistake anyway since I was deliberately trying to imitate that vibe, just wanted to clear up that it was art because I evidently forgot to when I initially posted it

insane how people think i can just do things. "can you mail me this?" and get killed by the post office desk workers?????!!!?

Has anyone considered that maybe he’s just right and the Vatican is kind of faggy?

cannot stop thinking about how the season finale of fallout set up a road trip buddy comedy between a 250+ yo radiation cowboy who tried (and so far succeeded) to kill his humanity to survive the wasteland and an optimistic doe eyed woman whose whole brand is Being a Good Person (something the radiation cowboy used to be) and will undoubtedly crack away at his hardened leather armor. when lucy bit off the ghouls finger and then the ghoul cut off lucy’s that was a pinkie promise to be bffs