FormlessChromatic

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

hello, fellow apes

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

what about a shapeshifter who’s bad at it. shapeshifter who can never quite get the nose right. shapeshifter who always makes flipped faces because they’re doing adjustments in the mirror. shapeshifter with same face syndrome. shapeshifter who always dips further into the uncanny valley than they want. shapeshifter who can mimic a single celebrity completely perfectly but struggles to recreate anyone else.

the people yearn for star trek deep space nine.

We go through a lot of pickles here and this recipe is a good way to use leftover brine.

me when i FUCKING get you *image of two mourning doves cuddling*

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

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That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

I'm so horny I could fuck a person I was attracted to #TRUE

reblog to give a trans woman a yummy burger

glad i reached my target audience of ppl showing love to their trans gfs/wives through the power of burger

okay so since making this post i've become the target audience