ForcingMyWords

this is an EXCELLENT example of the way word choice and tone can be used to create bias and transform the truth to suit the writer’s purposes.

Here’s my re-write: 

I chose a photo taken in the aftermath. Which would you say more accurately reflects the context? here are some other changes:

“denied impropriety” like he’s some maiden aunt clutching at pearls. No, what he actually did was:

oh, and he wasn’t

he was, in fact

after lying through his teeth. now here’s my favorite bit:

what does that MEAN? what the hell does that MEAN??? oh boo hoo hooey the Prime Minister’s self-confidence was damaged, how dreadful for the poor dear. the poor sweet man…

fuck that. in fact, Profumo’s actions

of the government, and rightly so.

oh, and I looked it up: the young woman in question was a model, not a “would-be” model. But ultimately her profession has no relevance here–what is relevant is that a middle-aged man in a position of power slept with a 19-year-old. I wonder what motive the original author could have had, to choose to emphasize her career over the fact she was still a teenager…

Words can be used to bend anything. Pay attention to tone. Pay attention to authorial intent. Pay attention to what is included and what isn’t. Question everything. But especially question the language used to describe historical and current events. Every writer has an agenda–look for it. Above all: 

Read critically.

and someone was like “well, just so you know, kids in foster care can be kinda messed up, not that you shouldn’t adopt, but-”

then someone else cut if off with “they’ll have some attitude haha” 

and i went “they’re going to be my kids they’ll have attitude no matter what ANYWAY”

and i’m just here like!!! why do people always say that!!!! traumatized children still deserve parents!! what makes you think kids who HAVE parents don’t have problems!!!!! i’ll adopt an angry sixteen year old if i want to and then!!!!! that’ll still be my kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who cares!!

I didn’t really think much of that at the time because I was an indifferent teenager, but now that I’m older and a little more wiser, I’m just like … really? Are you fucking serious? You’re going to deny a child love and family because of what their biological parents did? Because they could potentially become violent or a criminal? You’re really telling us that these children don’t deserve a family because criminal behavior is somehow fucking “genetic”????

expressing & processing strong emotions

relieving stress

experiencing catharsis 

moving on to a recovery period

this mindset that people just need to train themselves out of crying…that really worries me. bc the alternative is to repress those feelings instead of expressing them…and from firsthand experience i can tell you it is very much not worth doing that. i’ve been there, i’ve done it, i’ve bought into that mindset. i thought it would make me stronger and less vulnerable. instead i fell so out of touch with myself, it took years of therapy for me to learn to identify my own emotions again. i literally forgot how to tell when i’m upset or sad, bc my body had been trained out of expressing it. that’s an extreme scenario but it’s not uncommon, and if you spend too much time criticizing yourself over your own emotions, it can creep up on you.

i like to think we all know how harmful it is to tell children to just “stop crying, dammit.” turns out, the same is true for adults.

 just. please change the mindset that being visibly upset is somehow shameful. if you find yourself crying a lot, that probably means something in your external and internal experiences needs to change: you don’t deserve to feel angry, frustrated, frightened, sad, or upset so frequently that it distresses you. those are only supposed to be sometime emotions. 

Not too long ago, my friend Bella came out as aromantic to me, and now I’ve got some things to say.

I was the one who told her what aromantic means, because I was explaining different sexual orientations to her. I remember saying, “Asexualiy is when you have romantic attraction, but no sexual attraction.”

Bella immedently, without missing a beat, asked, “Is there an opposite to that?”

I asked what she meant, and she asked if there was a term for sexual attraction but no romantic attraction. I told her about aromantics. She got weirdly quiet, then excused herself.

Not two weeks later I was heading to my boat. I was supposed to meet Bella and another one of our muteral friends there for a day of fishing.

As soon as I was in earshot, I saw Bella storming off the boat, and our other friend standing there like an idiot. Boi had no idea what was happening.

Anyway, Bella isn’t looking where she’s going and walks smack dab into me. That’s when I realized she was crying. Puffy red eyes, wet cheeks, the whole nine yards… And if you know anything about Bells, she does not cry. Ever.

She’s been through some serious crap in her life, and she does not cry. She’s tough as nails. Bella has a steel core. She does not not cry. I’ve seen her fall off a roof and break her arm before, not a single tear. I can’t stress this enough, Bella. Doesn’t. Cry.

So seeing her in tears shook me. I took her by the shoulders and escorted her somewhere more private where we could talk. We ended up in the women’s restroom, which was weird as fuck for me, because haven’t been in a woman’s rest room for years. Luckily it was empty, and I’m realistic, I know I don’t pass so well, so I don’t think anyone would have said anything anyway.

Before I can even ask her what’s wrong she hugs me around my middle and burys her face in my hoodie. Then, in a voice I can only describe as traumatized, she says, “I think I’m broken.”

I’ve never seen her in so much pain, and Bella and I are CLOSE. She’s one of my dearest friends. She’s like my little sister, but if she’s like my sister, our other muteral friend is like her twin. He and Bella have know each other WAY longer, they’re practically inseparable. They come as a pair. They’re a duo. They’re a package deal.

Appearently, said muteral friend asked Bella out and forcefully kissed her. She shoved him off, and told him she’s aromantic, which she only recently figured out. She wasn’t ready to be out, but this muteral friend left her no choice. She tried telling him no, and he didn’t listen. Bella saw no other option.

Quote on quote, this is what he said to Bella. “That’s okay. You just haven’t dated me yet. We’ve been like, unofficially together for years. You’re probably just freaked out that it’s finally going somewhere.”

After that I’m not 100% clear on what happened, but apparently Bella kept saying no Nd trying to explain herself, but he kept insisting he could ‘fix her.’

Eventudally she started crying and stormed away. That’s when I found her.

Keep in mind, this was her first experience coming out, and her best, closest friend insisted he could fix her and forcefully kissed her. I found out later he also implied corrective rape would ‘solve the problem.’

Bella was traumatized. She’s still traumatized. I tried to make her feel better by buying her an aro pride shirt, and taking her go a local LGBTQ+ hang out. I wanted her to be around like minded people, so she could see she wasn’t broken, and her identity deserved to be respected.

Instead of a warm, welcoming environment… The first thing someone said to her was, “This place is for REAL lgbt people. You don’t belong here.” He also implied she wasn’t human.

Just think about that for a minute. Her first experiences with being an out aromantic have been limited to;

A person she trusted more than anyone forcing himself upon her, claiming she was ill, and needed to be fixed. (Raped.)

Sobbing in my arms in the women’s restroom because she thought she was broken and defective.

Being told she wasn’t welcomed in LGBTQ+ spaces and called inhuman.

This isn’t what I want for her. Bella deserves better than this. She needs a support system, not all this crap. I’ve spent the past week trying to undo all the damage exclusionists, arophobes, and people she trusted did.

I didn’t put up with it as a teenager really into sci-fi, I didn’t put up with it from the dude bros in game and comic shops, and I certainly won’t stand for it in my LGBT+ community.

b) This fucking show (complimentary)

btw: she’s in the upcoming Black Widow movie 😍 and—