Freckled Lili

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

what if soulmates were real and you met your soulmate and suddenly started seeing in color or they said to you the words that have been branded on your skin since birth or something but your soulmate was a Disney adult

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.

can fathers exist without being angry for no reason?? its getting ridiculous....

you can hover over a file slot and hit "delete" on your keyboard (fn+delete on a mac)

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

Do you want to see more sword crime? 👀

one of my favorite things to do in limited perspective is write sentences about the things someone doesn't do. he doesn't open his eyes. he doesn't reach out. i LOVE sentences like that. if it's describing the narrator, it's a reflection of their desires, something they're holding themselves back from. there's a tension between urge and action. it makes you ask why they wanted or felt compelled to do that, and also why they ultimately didn't. and if it's describing someone else, it tells you about the narrator's expectations. how they perceive that other person or their relationship. what they thought the other person was going to do, or thought the other person should have done, but failed to. negative action sentences are everything.

#if he got rid of some middle names i bet he would be more aerodynamic and better at racing via @/honeyseller

Correction: it's not the Medicis who run the Dublin fried chicken shops, but the direct decendants of the enemies of the Medici; the Borgias. The chain is called Borza and is better known for fish and chips. They moved to Ireland in the early 20th century. They are also said to have introduced the deep fried Mars bar from Scotland to Ireland.

The Borgias, among the most feared and reviled families in European history, running a fish 'n chips shop with deep fried Mars bars is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. It's like something from a D&D campaign where they decided to completely change genres.