underperforming overachiever

pyrrha dve: look, kid. look at me. i know you're kinda reeling right now but before we're swallowed by cthulu i need you to understand that i did fuck your mother. yes i know you just met your father for the first time and hes god or whatever, but so you know you've always been a daughter to me, especially that one time when i killed your mom and also maybe you. it's ok she understood why i did it. all that said i think we should kill ourselves right now. what do you mean you don't want to kill yourself? your mother would have killed herself with me.

The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times

they'll tell you it's wrong to boot up crpg rogue trader and bully companion npc heinrix van calox for yet one more playthrough. don't listen to them. it is your DUTY to bully companion npc heinrix van calox

i'm so tired of social media users saying "successful people are abusing stimulants". unsuccessful people are too. #WEMATTER

olivia rodrigo was meant to lez out behind the scenes of her acclaimed indie rock band but her destiny was stolen from her by big disney channel

midwife? don't say that. a wife could never be that.

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

Reading a book that's so good that you want to read it and read it and read it but at the same time you don't want to read it because then you'll finish it and it'll be over. These are moments that are worth living for.