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I gave a guy a handjob at the study area of the campus library yesterday. It was nice.

#yea #yooo #slutty confession #sluttyconfession

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women's shampoos be like: coconut; honey/milk; rose; tropical fruits; aloe vera

men's shampoos be like: ARCTIC ICE; DARKNESS; GUNS; TESTOSTERONE; PAIN

dadhopper-deactivated20171203

Yum….Yum..in my tum…

francisfordfiesta-deactivated20

“we almost dated” is such a weird relationship to have with someone

whomst-the-fck-asked

Plus the sequel “we never got closure”

And then the side adaptation “as a result I have a weird crush that never died”

culturistjack-deactivated201804

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

olisaurusrex

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

thattallsummonerguy

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

nevergenders

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

scumbagsblog

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

likeits1995

SO PROUD

ghost--ranger

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

crimezi

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

stars-for-thought

We will all protect the small one.

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jon-arbuckle-murdered-lyman

Reminder that Jon Arbuckle murdered Lyman in cold blood as a means to obtain Odie for his own cruel purposes

genderflux-moved-deactivated201

Not saying he wouldnt do this but SOURCE?????

raeloganthesonic06fangirl

Oh, boy, this is a fun bit of trivia.

See this book? This was published in 1998. I got it when I was 8 from my school bus driver for being really helpful on the route map for her first day, so this book has been in my possession for 19+ years. It’s very battered, but all the pages are still there, taped together, because the binding glue didn’t react well to the environment I lived in at the time.

Page 32 has a special “Bonus” spot for Lyman, with “updated” (for 1998) profile art

Closer look at the page

JON, WHAT DID YOU DO?

raeloganthesonic06fangirl

Oh, and also, if you know your Garfield Lore, then Lyman was Jon’s roommate until 1983, then left for an unknown reason, leaving Odie behind. He did appear in a Logo Box for Garfield’s 10th Birthday strip in 1988, as a cameo, but for the most part, Lyman has been absent for so long, they have continually rewritten how exactly Jon obtained Odie, ranging from adopting him from the same shop as Garfield, to adopting Odie a couple years into owning Garfield.

Except for

The popular 90s Garfield flash game, “Garfield’s Spooky Scavenger Hunt”, in which you can find Lyman chained up in a basement as a hidden eastern egg. He begs Garfield to give him some muffins to eat, then disappears after you leave the room and come back.

Garfield Lore is pretty messed up when you dig around.

mousathe14

….. what the hell

saddest-cat-hours

blairvvitchproject

put this in the fucking moma, the louvre, the guggenheim, the whitney, and the motherfucking prado

bonnieventure

one time a stranger on neopets years ago told me “school makes you think you have to be good at everything but sometimes it’s ok to just be good at one thing. even if it’s not something you get a grade for. they don’t grade you for being a good person” and tbh i still think about it little did i know all i needed this whole time was in glowing purple text and that icon of the goth fairy

mitten

iwilleatyourenglish

my leopard gecko hasn’t eaten for over a week so i took him to the vet. vet said he’s extremely healthy and the reason he’s not eating is likely due to him entering breeding season early

i paid $97 to learn that my gecko won’t eat because he’s too fucking horny do anything

iwilleatyourenglish

can you imagine someone handing you a burger and you being like “i can’t eat this i’m too fucking horny"

snotferret

uh, if you’re a bottom - you can imagine

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protocol00

anime girl: *breathes*

her tiddies:

velen-z-the-lucario

mostly untrue *yes I am going to be that guy*

protocol00

My dude.

david-lynch-ate-my-son

some more anime boob physics for you:

i had to do some uncomfortable google image searches for these!

lntelligent

“Not All Men” you’re right. Kevin Spacey would never do this

crazyclowntime

As it turns out, Kevin Spacey would in fact do this

horsecrash

This fuckin aged like milk

felderwin

My favorite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say “No” while doing it

lord-kitschener

Just…imagine this dude sitting alone in a dark room, with Confederate and swastika flags on the walls, bathed in the light from his computer monitor, wearing a maga hat, and silently, solemnly listening to Bob Marley and pretending it’s about white ppl

aplpaca

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant. you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper. i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A. you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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transfemininomenon

when i was a young boy *tips fedora* m'father

knfwinthemorning-deactivated202

THINGS TO INCLUDE IN A COLLEGE APPLICATION

high school musical quotes

the number 5

a 3 page samsung galaxy s2 skyrocket review

your fastest lap time in mario kart ds

,

the receipt to a hairdryer

big bird

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