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@flights-and-risks
the cunt who makes my life decisions (me) and the idiot who has to live with them (also me) somehow have diametrically opposed world views how am i supposed to live like this
me sowing: the harvest will be glorious. farmers tremble before my sowing prowess. i'm the king of the hill
me reaping: why the fuck did i sow all this. what the fuck. who let me have all these seeds. why the FUCK do i own a field. what the fuck.
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Der Fund einer Fliegerbombe aus dem Zweiten Weltkrieg im Hamburger Schanzenviertel fĂźhrt nicht nur zu einer weitreichenden Evakuierung, sond
Der Film Blindgänger von Kerstin Polte (unter anderem mit Daniel SträĂer) ist ab dem 01.06.2026 gratis in der Arte Mediathek verfĂźgbar đ Alle die den Film letzten Sommer nicht im Kino schauen konnten und nicht bis Juni warten mĂśchten, kĂśnnten ihn auch auf AppleTV kaufen oder leihen.
Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there
Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now
So there's two species of sea lion in North America: the California sea lion, ranging along California (including Baja) but not ranging into the north coast or into oregon
And the Stellar's sea lion, which are WAY bigger and live in Washington, British Columbia, and Alaska
A male Stellars sea lion showed up in SF like a month ago and just kinda. Didn't know what to do, and joined a colony of California sea lions, and is just kinda chilling there now.
Weird vagrant species happen from time to time, but this is just a particularly funny instance of a highly social species getting very lost, and just trying to blend in with its closest nearby relatives
One thing about the Hollander men; if you hit them with a social situation they don't know how to react to, they will straight up leave âď¸
call that the Hollander Goodbye
thoughts and prayers to ilya, who is marrying into a family of flight risks đ
Ilya, some indeterminate time in the future, chasing after their toddler whose instinct is to do a runner the moment everyone starts standing too long, thus perfecting the Hollander Goodbye early: wowâŚgenetic
ilya who is consistently the first one to find their child after they make a run for it because he has had to develop the survival skill of "if i were a hollander, where would i elope to?" over the years in order to find where the FUCK his family is after they just vanished
skill transfer
ilya who has learned to bring up flight risk conversations in a hollander residence because well *sips vodka* they'll have to come back eventually
What if the daughter has a bit of both Find and Flight skill so when one of the Hollanders run, Ilya just uses their daughter like a tracker finder dog cause she has a sixth sense about it. Loves maps too. Related some how
Er: Junge,
Ich, ohne Ausbildung, ohne Auto, ohne Festanstellung, ohne eigene Praxis, mit LĂśchern in der Hose und Nase, mit lauter Musik und mit Freunden, die alle Drogen nehmen: đś
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another important thing to remember is that ilya rozanov is not the asshole that you think he is, and that shane hollander is a bigger bitch than you would believe
There comes a time when Ilya gets some sort of injury with Ottawa. Not terrible but heâs limping and miserable.
Shane meanwhile has had a long day and his baby is hurt and no he doesnât want to answer media questions-. So when the game is finally finished instead of trying to help his husband painfully limp to their car while press swarm them-.
He just carries the man bridal style. Heâs a 6foot hockey player he can carry Ilya a few feet to the car and buckle him in and take him home thank you very much.
Ilya is not looking anyone in the eye.
Ein gutes StĂźck Sachertorte ist, ehrlich gesagt, eine MaĂnahme zur Suizidprävention.
how long until simon patterson has an rpf-induced freudian slip on the race podcast and says the problem with yamaha is that fabio is too submissive and breedable
Me because I got to witness a major historic event but it was a Good One for once
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Falls wir alle von Meteoriten ausgelÜscht werden sollten, hoffe ich, dass einer zuerst in St. PÜlten einschlägt.
Because @rozanohwell said that THE Shane Hollander, Master of Research would apply his Spreadsheets Skills to his sex life too, and sheâs RIGHT :
Picture Ottawaâs rookies going to Ilya for sex advice (like âyeah heâs married now but he used to have a playboy reputation so he must have a ton of Experienceâ˘ď¸â), and Ilya gives them a lecture about consent and respecting your partnerâs boundaries, and ends it with âbut if you want advice about *positions* and toys, ask my husband, he loves doing researchâ with a Cheshire Cat grin.
And the rookies are confused, Hollander and the Captain are married, of course theyâre doing stuff together, and Hollander is super knowledgeable about hockey stats and strategies, but *sex* research??
They go talk to Shane anyway (the girlfriend of one of them is really not having fun in bed, so heâs willing to try anything), and they half expect him to blush and say Ilya was joking. But Shane gets very serious, puts his glasses on and starts asking questions. Solo, couple or more people involved? Do you want to try it on her or her on you ? What does your typical foreplay actually look like ? He encourages them to take notes.
There are spreadsheets, toys and lube recommendations, stuff is ranked from âcan be fully spontaneousâ to âextensive prep requiredâ.
Itâs a full Advanced Sex Ed course, and the rookies get way more help than they ever hoped for. Also some judgement too, because âwhat do you mean you donât go down on your girl on the regular ? Man thatâs disappointingâ.
They end up sharing what they learned with rookies on other teams, because the knowledge is so good, they canât gatekeep it. The Hollander Files became somewhat of a legend amongst younger players.
Once in a while a kid from the team theyâre playing against will come up to Shane after the game, âso my partner wants to try this thing and itâs not in the Files, do you have advice on how to approach it ?â
And Shane will laugh at Ilya, âsee, research IS usefulâ before helping the rookie.
And Ilya is like âI never said it isnât, I just wish youâd stop talking about it when Iâm balls deep inside youâ.
I'd love to say I'm not spending every free waking moment reading hollanov fics but
top gun is great because tony scott was like âi want to make a movie about sunsetsâ and the us navy was like âNo youâre gonna make recruitment propanganda for the navyâ and val kilmer was like âthe studio has tricked me, juilliard trained val kilmer, into being here, so iâm going to portray a closeted homosexualâ and tom cruise was like âiâm in a ray bans commercial!â
Did you know that after they switched to blind auditions, major symphony orchestras hired women between 30% to 55% more? Before bringing in âblind auditionsâ with a screen to conceal the the candidate, women in the top 5 major orchestras made up less than 5% of the musicians performing.
so I believe it was actually more complicated than that, in interesting ways. Because at first, when they did blind auditions, they were STILL hiring more men.
âŚThen they put down a carpet, so that high heels didnât clack on the floor, and BOOM women were suddenly getting hired.
The testers didnât even know thatâs what they were picking up on, which just goes to show how tiny of a cue it takes for misogyny to kick in.
The case of blind auditions for orchestras and how it dramatically changed the gender makeup of orchestras is a very illuminating example of gender bias, and an interesting possible way of countering it.
You can be sexist without knowing it. You can be racist without knowing it. This is not a moral failing; it is a moral imperative to remember that you are fallible, and take steps to limit the damage your squishy ape brainâs foibles can cause.
The final chapter in Malcolm Gladwellâs Blink (2005) describes this in detail.
What you donât usually hear about when discussing this blind audition process is that after the blind auditions were implemented, when women had gotten many positions in the orchestra, men no longer saw being a member as prestigious and the salaries for the entire orchestra dropped.
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everyone line up i've got one bottle of testosterone gel and there's 17,000 of you i'm about to pull a move not seen since jesus did the bread and fish glitch 2000 years ago
hi everyone bringing back a "lets all thank ao3 volunteers"
the Great AO3 Shutdown sucks but its not the volunteers fault. thank you fellow readers for your hard work. signed, a survivor of the 2023 hacker shutdown
