This is My Design

Seeming to have somewhat gotten over the mortally wounding shock of this scene (its just so goddamn sweet someone help), I noticed something about Ed’s body language here. 

You’ll notice that as soon as Stede breaks into the bathroom (which, might I add, Ed flinches quite a few times while he was knocking on the door, so… just keep that in mind, i guess) Ed keeps his body turned away from Stede. 

His shoulders are angled towards the wall the entire time, even when he looks at Stede (which he only very hesitantly does, often looking down in the general direction of Stede rather than the man’s face, but I digress). 

To me, this seems like a very protective stance (I mean, Ed did grow up in an abusive household), but I think it also shows a couple other things, too. 

One, and the most obvious, is his shame at admitting he was going to kill Stede. Ed obviously feels really bad about this, and I also feel like he 100% assumed that Stede would be mad at him and that it would ruin their relationship – as anyone would, honestly. 

Two, it does a good job of showing Ed’s reluctance and discomfort with emotional vulnerability. He’s trying to literally shield himself from Stede, who is very kindly trying to help him, because he’s not used to being emotional around people (whereas Stede is a naturally emotional person, i.e. “we talk it through as a crew”). 

And three, I think it reflects how Ed feels about himself. He literally says “I’m not a good person, Stede. That’s why I don’t have any friends.” To Ed, he is the Kraken. A heartless monster who only evokes fear and pain. 

But Stede’s reply is “Hey, I’m your friend.”

And Ed can’t handle this. He leans even further away (and even bangs his head on the back of the tub, which like… I could spend a whole other post unpacking that, but I’ll spare you all the angst). He is quite literally trying to hide from Stede, his emotions, his past, his own self-image, etc etc. 

But then Stede brings up the idea of just forgetting that Ed was ever going to murder him. And the look on Ed’s face…

He doesn’t make eye contact (yet), but he does turn back towards him. He’s listening to what Stede is saying, but he doesn’t quite believe it. Not until Stede reiterates that he can forget what Ed was going to do if Ed can. And that’s the key. Ed has to forgive himself, because Stede already has. 

And that’s when Ed finally looks at Stede, and asks him “Really?” Does he really mean it? Is he really going to forgive him? Is he really his friend? And Stede doesn’t even need to say anything for Ed to see that the answer is “yes”

And it’s only then that Ed finally turns his body towards Stede. An act of opening up, of letting Stede in, of accepting his forgiveness and maybe even forgiving himself. An act of moving forward. He’s not shielding himself anymore. 

This can be even further seen with the life-threateningly adorable head boop that Ed does. There is so much utter relief in this gesture that I am quite literally going to scream. Because after all of that (the horrific ordeal of being known), Ed’s first instinct is to find comfort in Stede and his touch. 

I was convinced I had already posted more Reylo stuff in here…oh well🤷🏻‍♀️

Since Rey never got to touch his fluffy mane, I bring you relaxing hair-touching through the Force!

Britain:

here’s the screenshot that was taken down:

(image id: a person with red eyes, long pale green hair that has been shaved on one side, and multiple earrings. they have a tattoo covering their chin and lips, designed to look like the placement of facial mokos traditionally for women. end id)

to explain why i’m upset, ta moko is the process of a maori person tattooing another maori person, each line identifies your whakapapa (heritage for lack of a better word, it can’t really be translated into a single english word). the process is very tapu (sacred) and personal so just taking a random design and slapping it onto a character uh. sucks! it sucks.

one day, a man comes in and asks for a burned grilled cheese. the waitress specifies this to my father the line cook, and my father, being the chill guy that he is, thinks, k, whatever, he lets it get a little charred. gives it to the waitress.

guy sends it back. “not burned enough,” the waitress relays to my father. my father puts it back on the heat, lets it get solidly black on both sides, sends it out. 

guy sends it black. “it’s...still not burned enough,” the waitress says, and i can’t imagine being in this poor woman’s shoes, dealing with whatever eldritch creature is hungering for straight carbon in the dining room of a tiny Italian place in approximately 1991. 

my father thinks, what the hell. he sticks the sandwich in what is known as a Salamander, but is basically just a freestanding broiler. gets busy with something else. forgets about the grilled cheese. looks up. the grilled cheese is now ON FIRE. 

he pulls the grilled cheese out. it’s...definitely burned now. burned straight through. it’s questionable if this is even considered a grilled cheese anymore, since it has been far more than grilled and there is nothing recognizable as cheese. what the hell. he sends it out with the waitress. 

it doesn’t come back.