The Universe will surprise you

literally nothing funnier than a newly born aquatic mammal realizing they've been cursed to live in water

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Oh boy, a bunch of stone spikes standing in a barren wasteland. I'm certain this is a place of honor, and that many highly esteemed deeds are commemorated here. A place of value to be sure!

Posts we're going to have to show the aliens to explain ourselves as a species #45469890

Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy

Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy

I would also like it to STAND on my TITS and SNIFF my EYES.

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

bbc sherlock wants what i have

december???? what next??? 2024?????

For anyone who may be wondering, 'Donner' and 'Blitzen' are the German words for Thunder and Lightning. Contrary to popular belief, Santa Claus was not a part of the fabled Donner Party tragedy of 1847, nor as far as we know, did he ever partake in cannibalism.

He did however, participate in the air raids of London.

I love how 15 said to 14 (tenteen??) that he has to take time to rehabilitate himself emotionally and that from his point of view, all that has already happened so he is Fine and Swell and ready to party. Then at the first mention of foundlings and adoptive mothers he is crying all over his new beautiful face and falling back on the old 'I have no one' bullshit. He really learnt nothing and I think that's beautiful <3

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

protect oil at any cost

What has the Doctor who fandom done to me that whilst trying to see if Mrs Flood could be an anagram of anything the first thing I noticed was ‘Looms Dr’?

I need to be alone for a few hours every day, otherwise I start to spiral. but if I'm alone for too long, I also start to spiral. pretty easy, right?

Missed this last year by 50 effing minutes.

Hell yeah I’m scheduling this again.

Always remember that Palestine was explicitly granted the right to armed resistance by the United Nations, against the zionist occupation. The article mentions the U.N. enshrining that right for occupied and colonized people, but the U.N. also explicitly named Palestine in the resolution, as well as Namibia and Zimbabwe who were also fighting against apartheid and illegal occupation.