Draco the Death Eating Cupcake @spikeisawesome456 - Tumblr Blog

2026 being the ten year anniversary of 2016 ace discourse means that everyone needs to get incredibly asexual this year. as reparations

godsperfectprincess

many of you in the notes saying “on it boss”. i’m starting to think you guys were already asexual…

#Why on earth would you assume I’m ace??#:-)

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apolladay

If there is someone in the world with a name close enough to yours, have you ever received their emails?

Yes

No

Op, what?

So, it happened a few times, I've been receiving emails from, a couple times, a renting company, and more recently a newsletter from a shoe company. And... they both were legit, when I looked for the companies names online, I found the exact same email adresses I was receiving them from. Then I looked more closely and realized one thing: they were sending to someone with my name, but at two email adresses. One was mine, and the second, apparently, was my homonym. There was a difference in the adresses, literally of a point between names. So I know that there is someone, on the other side of the globe, with a different language and culture, who I share my name with and nearly an email adress.

If there is someone in the world with a name close enough to yours, have you ever received their emails?

Yes

No

Op, what?

Remaining time: 5 days 20 hours

#Nope #I have a unique last name and I believe I'm one of the only people with my exact name #At least the only young person in America

apolladay

have you ever had to wear a heart monitor? like a zio patch, not the kind u get in the hospital with all the leads

i'm wearing one right now

yes, multiple times

yes, once

maybe?

no

other/results

have you ever had to wear a heart monitor? like a zio patch, not the kind u get in the hospital with all the leads

i'm wearing one right now

yes, multiple times

yes, once

maybe?

no

other/results

Remaining time: 6 days 5 hours

#Yes. Thrice I believe #Unfortunately #The last time I wore one I had to give up after less then the full 48 hours because I later learned I'm VERY allergic to nickel and cobalt #And I was reacting HARD to the metal in the electrodes #I physically could not stop scratching the electrodes.#And I was like... okay even if I keep it on the full 48 hours the data must be effed anyway #So I removed it and no one said anything. So. I guess it was fine #Turn out I probably had just had a caffeine induced physical panic attack. At least that's my theory #The first two times I wore heart monitors it was also bad but I was able to keep them on the whole time I think #But that last time... oof.#I had what looked like literal burns on my skin for weeks afterwards #Luckily I finally got a skin patch test done and determined that I am indeed very allergic to nickel and cobalt #To the point I also couldn't keep the patch test on for the full 48 hours and the two areas that had nickel and cobalt were there for weeks #But yeah. One of the most painful/uncomfortable experience of my life.#What's funny is that it's not an immediate allergy. It only starts hurting after a few hours

apolladay

A close friend of yours won a million dollars on the lottery. Hurray!

You have been without a vehicle for some time, and have confided in your friend how badly you want one. Your friend offers to give you the money for it.

Your friend tells you a spending limit, but! The wretched Imp of No Communication. It appears and shouts so you don't hear what they said. Any time you ask them to repeat it comes back. Any attempt you make to sneakily deduce what your friend considers a fair amount will be foiled by the Imp. Your friend cannot see or hear the Imp. The Imp will stop you from telling them about it. The Imp is immortal and cannot be trapped, harmed, or bribed.

Your friend will give you any amount of money (cursed by the Imp of Generosity, poor buddy), even if you go over the limit, but going over the limit will hurt them deeply and probably destroy your friendship. They did set a clear boundary with you (they have every reason to think).

How much money are you taking for your new vehicle (you haven't signed a contract saying you can ONLY buy a vehicle, but that is your friend's expectation)?

1) You do not accept the gift.

2) Under 1K

3) Under 5K

4) Under 10K

5) Under 50K

6) Under 100K

7) Under 500K

8) You take their whole prize.

A close friend of yours won a million dollars on the lottery. Hurray! You have been without a vehicle for some time, and have confided in your friend how badly you want one. Your friend offers to give you the money for it. Your friend tells you a spending limit, but! The wretched Imp of No Communication. It appears and shouts so you don't hear what they said. Any time you ask them to repeat it comes back. Any attempt you make to sneakily deduce what your friend considers a fair amount will be foiled by the Imp. Your friend cannot see or hear the Imp. The Imp will stop you from telling them about it. The Imp is immortal and cannot be trapped, harmed, or bribed. Your friend will give you any amount of money (cursed by the Imp of Generosity, poor buddy), even if you go over the limit, but going over the limit will hurt them deeply and probably destroy your friendship. They did set a clear boundary with you (they have every reason to think). How much money are you taking for your new vehicle (you haven't signed a contract saying you can ONLY buy a vehicle, but that is your friend's expectation)?

You do not accept the gift.

Under 1K

Under 5K

Under 10K

Under 50K

Under 100K

Under 500K

You take their whole prize.

Remaining time: 6 days 19 hours

#I'd say 25k #That's usually the price of a good enough car nowadays #Or. I think it is #I've never bought a car so maybe the price has gone up #But that's about the price of what I'd think

setulose

Whatttt is with the tendency of Tumblr users to seek absolution from every single person who offhandedly posts about disagreeing with something they do

setulose

I say this not unkindly, but firmly: to function as a member of a social species, you have to get comfortable with the idea that not everyone will like you

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guineapiggies

Via thisvanillabeaner

lustcannibalism

you guys can’t fucking do anything

carosbee

No creativity no innovation no nothing. Just dead minds where a living organ once sat, torn out in pieces by an unfeeling machine in the name of shares.

zenzgtandg

If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine

scifigrl47

The ways that exist to break this game that simultaneously do absolutely no damage to how this game functions are ASTONISHING.

jauntylittlefrillyboy

Did you weaponize the chickens?

justketerthings

You hurt cuccoo? You hurt cuccoo like the link? Oh! Oh! Death for molduga! Death for molduga for a hundred years!

sovietnam

pekingopera

yorgen-sh

broken-horn-of-equius

Grampy you've got to lock the fu--

Oh apologies i was not familiar with your game

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vaporwavecorp

3DS found with erosion and barnacles found while diving

dragon-in-a-fez

some octopus had 900 hours in Pokemon Alpha Sapphire and you just fuckin stole his 3DS

feedyourdeadnametothevoidfish

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

anarchistmemedistro

62 8

technofeudalism

g00burr

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

anarchistmemedistro

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

weirdtranssexual

genuinely, from the bottom of my heart:

if you can’t read or write 500-1000 words with relative ease you have a serious problem

weirdtranssexual

how are all the teenagers who complain about writing 500 words for homework going to get through college without AI

how are you going to function in society if you can’t read 1000 words at a time

prof-grace-aspen

This is a FIXABLE problem, by the way!

Pick a topic you like, and that's what you're going to read about. Set a minimum word count, and read until you get to it. Start small. Smart easy. First try, it might actually be agonizing.

That's it for the day. Just hit the word count.

Next day, read to the word count again. Read something new! It will be easier today.

And easier the next.

And you will naturally find yourself extending how much you read per day.

weirdtranssexual

yes! the brain must be exercised like any other part of the body to get stronger! no matter what place you’re at you can do stimulating activities to exercise your brain!

mageofthemarsh

The answer to 'how are they going to function' is, and I say this as someone whose mom was a social worker in Appalachia for 20 years: they're going to get scammed. They're going to be victims of fraud, scams, and exploitation, due to their low literacy making them easier targets for others. And then they're going to be unable to read and write well enough to advocate for themselves in a court of law or fight back in any meaningful way.

"I ain't reading that" becomes "I can't read that" which becomes "I didn't read before I signed it because the guy telling me to was convincing and now I don't have anything".

seeingteacupsindragons

For reference: 500 words is about a page and a half double-spaced; one page in single spacing or with spaces after paragraphs.

theweirdwideweb

freebroccoli

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR SON HAS DIED FROM TRENCH FOOT LOL HE SERVED WITH COURAGE AND HONOR LOL PLEASE ACCEPT OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES LOL

dingdongyouarewrong

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

averagejoey2000

dingdongyouarewrong

well damn . egg on my face

dingdongyouarewrong

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

averagejoey2000

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

averagejoey2000

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

averagejoey2000

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

averagejoey2000

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

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apolladay

US residents, do you get Juneteenth off of work? Where do you work?

Yes (private sector)

Yes (public sector)

Yes (other)*

No (private sector)

No (public sector)

No (other)*

US resident but unemployed/self-employed

Not US resident