I'm going back to the internet, they understand me

These are the first five pages of my brand new webcomic, Madhouse: A Love Story. Updates once a week, one new page every Wednesday!

This is a work of fiction. I do not own Ty, Zane, Cut and Run series, or “I drive Your Truck”. Respectively they belong to Abigail Roux and Lee Brice. Song lyrics in italics.

Eighty-Nine Cents in the ash tray Half empty bottle of Gatorade rolling in the floorboard That dirty Braves cap on the dash Dog tags hangin’ from the rear view Old Skoal can, and cowboy boots and a Go Army Shirt folded in the back This thing burns gas like crazy, but that’s alright People got their ways of coping Oh, and I’ve got mine

Zane started into the old Bronco. He didn’t have to count the change that was in the ashtray, or see the Gatorade bottle that was still half full partially hidden under one seat, as if waiting for Ty to come back at any moment and finish it off, to know it was there. Knuckles white he clenched the unyielding metal. His eyes moved from the floor, knowing from experience that if the old Bronco ran too long the floor boards would get hot beneath foot. Ty hadn’t had a chance to fix it before….His jaw locked, muscle ticking in his cheek as if that would stop the stuttering in his heart. The dog tags hanging from the rear view mirror were like a taunt. Having rested against Ty’s chest for so long…The Braves hat on the dash. Ty had always protested the thought of washing it, superstitious to the core, and Zane was glad that he had. Now. It was harder to fight the tears as his eyes moved to the back seat. Cowboy boots from their last trip to Texas, and the Marines shirt folded up on the back seat. Ty’s military training still inherent even years after he’d been out. Zane managed to let go of the door enough to pull it open, and climbed into the driver’s seat. It was just a little too short for him, but he refused to move the seat back. He’d given up every addiction for Ty. As much as he craved the numbness, going back to it was too much like a betrayal to Ty’s memory. And Zane couldn’t do it.

I drive your truck I roll every window down And I burn up Every back road in this town I find a field, I tear it up Til all the pain’s a cloud of dust Yeah, sometimes I drive your truck

I leave that radio playing That same ole country station where ya left it Yeah, man I crank it up And you’d probably punch my arm right now If you saw this tear rollin’ down on my face Hey, man I’m tryin’ to be tough And momma asked me this morning If I’d been by your grave But that flag and stone ain’t where I feel you anyway

The Bronco started with a purr as he turned the key. For being almost twenty years old, the old truck ran practically like new. But he didn’t expect anything less from Ty. His hands clenched on the steering wheel and he had to close his eyes as the country station came in. Ty had listened to everything and anything. If he turned it up, maybe it would drown out the sound of his heart breaking all over again. Shifting into gear he pulled out of the gravel drive way and sped down the road. Bluefield had plenty of back roads, and Zane had found more than a few. He remembered Ty showing him around, secret places he’d had visited as a child. Back woods places he’d gone to hoping for peace of mind. Inevitably, Zane always ended up in that spot. He swallowed hard, eyes burning as a tear made its way down his cheek. Ty would probably punch him if he saw it and call him a pansy. The thought only brought a flickering smile and more tears. Mara had asked him that morning if he’d been to Ty’s grave. He had, but not for the funeral.

Nick had pounded on his door for what had felt like hours demanding that he show himself. Some of the names that had come out of the Marine’s mouth didn’t bare repeating but Zane hadn’t even pulled himself from the spot on the couch. In all honesty, he couldn’t really say how long it had been before someone had convinced Nick that if they didn’t leave they were going to be late, probably Owen or Kelly. Zane couldn’t go. Couldn’t force himself to endure the insincere smiles and pats on the shoulder while everyone told him how sorry they were for his loss. They didn’t know what he’d lost. Couldn’t even begin to comprehend. A day, or maybe two, he had managed to drag himself there. The engraved words B. Tyler Grady A hero until the end echoed numbingly through his thoughts. The words were hollow. Like Zane’s heart, and like the graveyard. Ty had an energy about him. Constantly in motion even when sitting still. The too quiet concrete garden didn’t say Ty to him, regardless of where his body was laid. Somehow, Mara’s strained voice demanding he get his ass to West Virginia over the answering machine had gotten through the haze he’d been walking through enough to manage to pack and buy a plane ticket. He’d almost been relieved not to have to stay in the home that he and Ty had built where every breath and every crevice was filled with a memory, maybe if he’d been a little less masochistic he would have been more appreciative.

I drive your truck I roll every window down And I burn up Every back road in this town I find a field, I tear it up Til all the pain’s a cloud of dust Yeah, sometimes I drive your truck I’ve cussed, I’ve prayed, I’ve said goodbye Shook my fist and asked God why These days when I’m missing you this much

Zane tried to breathe. The cool crisp mountain air didn’t seem to loosen the tightness in his chest any. Even with all the windows down. He slammed his palm against the steering wheel swearing, even as the road grew blurry before he blinked the tears away.  “DAMMIT TY! You just had to leave before me?!” Zane wasn’t even sure whether he was talking about Ty leaving Baltimore to act as support for another team or if he meant dying. Maybe both. Probably both.  The road he was on could hardly be called a road before ending at the river and Zane threw it into park. “You fucking bastard.” The words coming out broken as the tears came quicker. Zane couldn’t count the number of times he’d fucked up in his life, and moments he regretted, but this was the one he wasn’t sure he could come back from. One he wasn’t sure he wanted to come back from. Again, he hadn’t been there. States away where he couldn’t do anything. Arms crossed over the steering wheel Zane put his head in them and just let the tears come, it’d already been a month and he knew the pain was never going to go away.  Zane didn’t know how long he sat like that before the tears finally ran dry though he still didn’t raise his head. “I miss you.”

I drive your truck I roll every window down And I burn up Every back road in this town I find a field, I tear it up Til all the pain’s a cloud of dust Yeah, sometimes, brother sometimes I drive your truck I drive your truck I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind I drive your truck

“I miss you, too.” Zane didn’t even blink. Somehow, the idea that he was hearing voices of the dead didn’t even faze him. He was sure Deuce would have something to say about that if he told him. Some way to psychoanalyze him.  

“Fuck you.” Zane told the ghost of his partner not even bothering to look up. An echo of a memory, of Ty saying he didn’t play at crazy flitted through his mind.

“You already have….Just not recently.” There was always something that was amusing Ty. He couldn’t even manage to be dead serious. He almost smiled to himself imagining Ty groaning about his awful puns. Zane flinched hard when a hand reached through the open window. He was about to growl something nasty to whatever poor person was interrupting his fantasies only to find startled eyes on Ty. Zane swallowed past the thickness in his throat. Maybe he should talk to Deuce. “You’re not sleeping are you?” There was quiet concern in the question.  The black beneath Zane’s eyes could have been paint they were so dark.

“I never do unless you’re in bed with me.” Zane answered automatically. Ty knew it as well as he did, he didn’t have to say it. Zane didn’t have any explanation for how the apparition before him was able to open the door and pulled him unresisting out of the truck. Zane hadn’t bothered with the seat belt. A passive disregard for his own health, much like his addictions had been. But the arms around him felt too real. Too solid to wholly be a hallucination. The lips suddenly against his too familiar. “Ty…”

“I’m sorry Zane. I didn’t know what they were doing. The explosion had me out for a week and when I came to enough to ask ‘what the hell?’ Burns said they’d seized the opportunity to make it look like I’d been killed.”

The information had Zane’s head reeling for a moment before one thing stood out loud and clear. Ty was alive.

The fist took Ty by surprise, the pain shooting up the whole side of his face. “You fucking BASTARD!” When Ty looked back at Zane his eyes blazed. Ty stopped the second swing reflexively.

“Hey! It wasn’t my idea Garret! You think I wanted to let everyone think I was dead? You? Mom? Dad? Grandpa? Deuce? I tried like hell to at least make Burns let me contact you, where do you think he got that shiner?”

The response wasn’t a verbal one as Zane grabbed him by the shirt and threw him up against the Bronco, immediately covering him with his body and kissing him violently. It still surprised Ty when Zane managed to manhandle him, but it didn’t stop him any from immediately pressing up against the taller man and returning the kiss. Ty couldn’t stop the groan that came from him. A month without even seeing Zane or hearing his voice was far too long as far as Ty was concerned. Especially when the assignment had only supposed to have been a week.

They were both breathless by the time the kiss ended, and Zane pressed his forehead against Ty’s. Full lips curled into the customary smug look that was both endearing and annoying as hell. “So you missed me, huh?”

“Shut up Grady.” Zane immediately growled before giving Ty an alternate use for his mouth. Ty was somehow managing to still smirk at him when the kiss ended, but the look in his eyes was tender, healing the broken pieces of Zane’s damaged heart.

I Want You To Know Who I Am (Stucky)

password: vintage

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range.”

Alien: “……. I’m sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?”

Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.” 

Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least.”

Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”

Alien: “……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to boiling?”

Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god help you if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.” 

“Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about.”

“Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?”

“… well, actually…”

“… what?”

“…we kinda……. sent……….. people…..”

“…”

“…”

“…what?”

“we sent-”

“no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent… HUMANS… to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?”

“y-yeah”

“and they didn’t… die?”

“Well the first few did”

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE?”

aka The History of Russia

aka Arctic Exploration

‘Yep.  Pompeii is legendary.  Entire cities went. Towns buried under lava, peoples’ brains boiled in the first rush of heat, loads more killed by falling pumice.’

‘ah, good, they learned their lesson and didn’t build there again.’

‘…well…’

‘Are you seriously telling me this volcano is legendary for killing several urban conurbations and you built on top of it AGAIN?’

‘In our defence it hasn’t actually done it since.’ 

‘What about earthquake-prone areas? Tell me you’re at least vaguely sensible about those.’

human:

Human - Ok - lists everything from the 300 Spartans to possible WW3 - 

Alien - So who are these people fighting in a square and a caged circle?

Human - Those are sports fighters.

Alien - You fight each other for fun?

Human - Yes.

Alien - WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THESE WARS!? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN IT!

Human - Well there’s the geneva convention. - explains what it is -

Alien - YOU BANNED WEAPONS OF WAR BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO EFFECTIVE!?

Human - It’s like cheating.

Alien - AT WAR!?!? WHERE YOU ACTIVE GOAL IS TO KILL EACH OTHER!? YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT CHEATING!?

Human -…………………..

Alien - What?

Human - Nothing.

Alien - No, what? There’s something else isn’t there?

Alien: some what now?

Human: Booze. Alcoholic drinks.

Alien: What is alcohol? 

Human: Ethanol.  C2H6O

Alien: wait, isn’t that the stuff your people use as disinfectant?

Human: yup.

Alien: and a fuel additive?

Human: yup.

Alien: Isn’t that a poison!?

Human: well yeah, but it’s watered down when we drink it.

Alien: So let me just review: You have records of people surviving fatal wounds commonly…

Human: Uh-huh.

Alien: And some of these stories include stab wounds to the brain…

Human: Oh, yeah, all the time.

Alien:….and then…surviving and even improving from crippling injuries or brain damage…

Human: Those are some of the truly strong ones, that.

Alien: Yes…indeed…………………………………………………

Human: What? What is it?

Alien: It’s just…..well………we had heard….rumors….

Human: Of?

Alien: It’s nothing. They’re false, they must be! Humans coming back from the dead–it’s funny really!

Human: o-o……………..

Alien: You must be joking.

Human: UM………WELL…….

Alien: TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING. PLEASE.

Human: *patting the alien sympathetically* I’m…sorry?

I Want You To Know Who I Am (Stucky)

password: vintage

As told by Chris Pratt gifs…

1. The “Great Idea” Phase

2. The “This Is My World and Where I Belong” Phase

3. The “It’s 3am” Phase

4. The “Here Comes the Angst/Hurt/Comfort” Phase

5. The “First Read Through” Phase

6. The “Massive Breakthrough” Phase

7. The “To Post or Not to Post” Phase

8. The “Posting Anyway” Phase

9. The “ Actual Posting” Phase

10. The “Waiting for Feedback” Phase

11. The “Split Second Before the First Kudo/Fav/Follow/Comment” Phase

12. The “Reading First Kudo/Fav/Follow/Comment” Phase

13. The “Replying” Phase

14. The “I’ve Got Another Idea” Phase 

I have to add one more that fits me very well as a writer:

I do gotta add one more though.

This one is for the (very occasional) person who comes through and tells me that they didn’t like the way I wrote something…

Someone please, feel free to add to this, I love to see what else people come up with!

Proximity alarms start going off. A vessel is approaching.

Camilian: <looks at viewscreen> “Oh zark it, it’s the Parg.”

Egrat: <Dashes over> “Oh erting fraknabs, we’re dead.”

Human Crewmember:“The who?”

Camilian: <shudders>: “The Parg. Remember the civilisations living on those five planets Lei-ward of Helios 6?”

Human: “No? I thought that system was empty of sentient life.”

Camilian: “Exactly.”

 Human: “…ah.” <looks at flashing lights on console> “They appear to be hailing us.”

<Camilian and Egrat scuttle backwards away from console.>

Human: “…thanks a bunch, guys.” <presses hail pick-up button> “This is Communications Officer Haley Makini of the Starboat Fribling, how may I help you?”

Parg ship: “This is Zek of Parg.”

Human: “Hello Zek! How are you feeling this day-cycle?”

Parg Ship: “…”

Human: “I for one have been missing my family lately, I got a vidcall from my little sister and my cousins - same-generation kin-people - and they told me that cousin Wendy is getting married to her girlfriend Mila, isn’t that nice? So I’m really hoping I can make it to the wedding - that’s romantic lifebond ceremony - because otherwise they’d all be sad, they told me so. Do you have any family - lifemates or brood or other kin-people back in your home-system Zek?”

Parg Ship: “…Zek of Parg has brood of five. All Smallings, but soon Biglings. Soon.”

Human: “Oh! You must be so proud of them!”

Parg Ship: “… Yah. Good future replacements for Parent-bodies for Glory of Parg.”

Human: “And that’s all any of us could want! Imagine how sad our kin would be if either of us were to fail to make it back home! That’s why I want to help your ship Zek, in any way we can. The Fribling is only a small ship, but we have some surplus goods and skills to offer if you need anything from us.”

<long pause>

<No one on board the Fribling speaks, but Egrat has anxiously chewed their claws to the quick>

Parg Ship: “Have Lucrum cable? Parg Ship underengine in poor condition, jury-rig not hold, need hitch-tow to Dellar System.”

Human: “Oh, that’s only 8 parsecs away. Sure, hah, we can manage that. No problem.”

<78 minutes later, after the two ships have been attached via Lucrum cable>

Parg Ship: “…What kind you?”

Human: “Huh? ….oh, I’m a human. I’m from Sol 3, Earth.”

Parg Ship: “… Parg remember this. Parg remember Haley Makini. Parg remember Human.”

Human: <blinks> “…thank you!”

<communication connection closes from Parg end>

<Human sinks to ground, hand on chest, hyperventilating slightly>

Human: “HolyfuckhowdidIpullthatoffohholyfuck!”

Camilian: “Wait, you were scared too?”

Human: <glaring> “Cam, we’ve worked together how long? I’d have thought that by now you’d trust my threat assessment abilities. Phew! That one was so close I felt the breeze going past.”

Egrat: “…how. How did you just do that?”

Human: “It’s not hard.  Stay calm, just keep smiling, and build rapport by pretending to care about their problems, and meanwhile showing that you’re a real thinking being. Tends to defuse situations rather than escalate them.”

Egrat: “…I think I saw what you did, but where did you learn how to do that?”