Here since 98'

outlines of two alligators that got raptured by the lord himself

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

Because it's also evil

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

You meet god

Whole, in one gulp.

Father of the Muffin Boy

Car's haunted

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

into the sky, where it turns into stars

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

....Ah

Pasta so long it can't fit in your car and you gotta tie it to the roof. Pasta so long you gotta cook it outside because your ceiling is too low.

This post gains more and more notes as we approach the day

I’ve had a store sell spaghetti which was half a metre long once. It was really good.

this is my favorite fuckin comic ever I have never seen something capture the experience so well

*is forced to wear this and parade myself around town and children throw rotten produce at me*

Queer joy detected!

imagining someone in the world making use of my 4pm on a monday doodles is sick as hell

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real