Me: You know how when you were a kid and youβd wish that youβd get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didnβt live up to your potential?
Everybody, apparently: No?
Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe thereβs a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say βAre you okay?β and you say βI think soβ and they say βoh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankleβ and you say βitβs okayβ and they say βyouβre so braveβ and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says βoh wowβ and βyou poor beautiful thingβ and βIβm so sorry we let you run into the cave but Iβm so glad we found youβ and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everythingβs their fault and also they named the cave after you and youβre prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.
βHow to Respond to Criticismβ by Danny M. Lavery for The Toast
seems like plenty of people are lacking the Vitamin






















