Runny Butthole

"Being kind is punk" you need to learn to do good things without it being tied to a social status or subculture

Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

did anyone else notice that they changed elfs. like elfs are different now

It’s too hot to give a fuck that the prime minister resigned…again

This is almost better than finding out new info through the supernatural meme

I was out with a bunch of people this weekend and this guy suddenly went “man I miss my wife” and went home. like…I want that

was measuring out some sugar and i scooped out one spoonful and fucking said "two." i didn't know you could even lose count that fast

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving