6$ SRIMP SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!

[sitting completely still in my own bed] this world is gutting me like a fish

whenever one of my buddies gets some new garb we stand around chanting "don it. don it. don it" until he dons the garb

don’t be scared to ask that person out. the worst they could do is say ‘no’ and then begin attacking you with their bare hands, ripping the skin off your face and tearing out chunks off flesh from your arms and disemboweling you

best case scenario

only thing that stands between me and going to bed is the entire internet that fits in the palm of my hand

doing normal stuff while listening to metal is so funny because I'm eating cereal and this guy is screaming at me

i want to be fighting for my life to get milk. i want to face booby traps, near misses from hidden dart launchers, careful steps to avoid falling into a cavernous pit. i want to just barely make it to the milk isle alive, only to seize the jug and hear a low grumble in the distance. i want to run for my life through the crumbling grocery store as an obscenely large boulder chases me to the exit. i want to reach my hand through the closing automatic doors, straining to retrieve my garfield beanie from inevitable loss. i want the satisfaction of fleeing the store, jug in grip, and beanie on head. only to find out that the boulder can trigger the automatic doors, rushing through them and crushing me instantly.

hrghh another long and difficult day... TUMBLR!! fetch me a photo of The Fictional Character .....