Welcome to my circus

And when I feel that someone starts to love me less, I begin to draw back as well. Almost like a gag reflex; spitting something out because it could be choking you or might be poisonous and hurt you.

They called him dangerous - but he was my safe

You don't scare me. I'm fascinated by you, that's why you draw me in so much

The moment before feet are touching the sharp shards of glass before they willingly dance on them. The uneasy feeling in your gut when you go jump off a cliff, sensing something's wrong but won't know that the rope's gonna rip. The fear in your insides before the snake lunges at your hand, knowing you can't pull it back quick enough to not get hurt. All those feelings mixed into one and easily compared to the feeling I got inside of me. The acceptance of pain, the uncertainty what is happening and the fear of falling back into the abyss I once crawled out so laborious

Where's my mind?

You gon' have to come stronger than this liquor. Wanna take me home? Better be more convincing. It'll take more than that to get to me. More than that to get your way.

You think I am your prey? Well, in this case I have bad news for you. I am a huntress myself

Did you ever feel so stressed and nervous and mad, that you are just too much for yourself? Like you have to get something out of you. You want to scream or cry or bleed or just do anything that helps your mind getting emptier

The other voice in my head is abusive, yet it tries to save me from thoughts that are no good for me. Today it said: "Don't worry that pretty little head of yours"