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I ain't much of a petplay guy but wire cage muzzles n prong collars are hot.
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I would have so many piercings if I didn't have to worry about the healing process.
Last night I had a dream where I was supposed to torture a guy for some dream plot related reasons. Had him tied up on a bed, knife in my hand n all, but when we started talkin it somehow lead to us both deciding we wanna have sex first. So the rest of the dream was this extremely casual foreplay, where we're chattin about stuff n jokin as if we're best friends (guy still tied up. I still got a knife). The whole time I'm periodically reminding him that I'll still have to hurt (n probably kill) him when we're done, but he's now completely fine with that fact for some reason ???
Cave hyena I sketched last night. Started out as a spotted hyena but I tried to make it look more like an ice age hyena by makin the fur longer, ears smaller n the body a bit more stocky.
It's so annoying when someone we have blocked on all of our blogs keeps re-making their account 'cause I keep comin across them every couple months (some of our mutuals follow them) n havin to go n put thier url in every single sideblog's blocklist again.
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One of the songs that is very "killing myself music" to me. Bleedin out while watchin the sunset to this.
(Genuinely can't remember if I'd made this post before or just thought about rambling about this 'cause we're all sorts of weird mentally today. )
The vast majority of my tangible forms are male n my instincts n all that align with it (when it comes to the main forms that actually influence me enough for that to be a thing). But think if I were a wild hyena, I'd be a female one. Talkin about spotted hyenas here, 'cause even though I consider myself to be more of a cave hyena, we obviously have no way of knowin what exactly their social hierarchies n behaviors were like. Spotted hyenas influence what a lot of the mental parts of bein one feel like to me enough for this to matter, though.
When I picture myself with other hyenas out in the wild, my behavior when it comes to social shit aligns with how female spotted hyenas behave. Sometimes it's hard to separate what is simply my individual personality n what is a species-specific thing, so it's a difficult thing to figure out. But every time I would read or watch stuff about this subject, I just couldn't fully see myself in the role of a male one. I could much more easily relate to how the dynamics between female clanmates work. That fact always felt real strange to me n I never know how to approach talkin about this subject 'cause it's an experience that's 100% separate from my actual gender in this body n shit like that. It's limited entirely to hyena stuff.
I sure love feelin like there's somethin clawing at my brain n I can't get it to stop, nothing I do is fun or enjoyable at all n I'm so painfully fuckin bored of this existence that I wanna die already just to get it over with.
