god motherfucking dammit

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

One of my favorite things about loving someone or developing a closeness or fondness towards someone is also loving and developing a fondness for the things they care about. When you learn to see the world in a new way, or you learn to appreciate the things you’ve previously overlooked, or they become your excuse to get into an interest you always thought was cool but thought you didn’t have time for. When a connection makes your world bigger and warmer and fuller and more beautiful.

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes