god motherfucking dammit

once you realize that a penis and a clit are basically the same thing, your ability to give head will increase exponentially...you just have to open your heart to the truth

Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them

Follow me for more wikipedia ^

The Hamburglar is a reunion of terms

official linguistics post

this is really interesting in how it frames disability/low spoons/etc as not being a series of internal symptoms, but specifically a situation in which daily tasks increase in complexity. for example i used to be able to wash the dishes normally. but now mental and physical issues combine to make that situation have a lot of prequalifications (do I have time, energy, how long can I do it without being sore the next day) that means many more steps are involved in getting that single physical act of washing a dish to be done.

I’m trying to remember the quote. “On a good day, doing laundry is three steps. On a bad day, the first step is getting out of bed.”

Olive Garden... When you're here you are nothing but a fucking sex object

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

I suffer from severe anemia and constant nausea. I also experience frequent fainting spells because I cannot afford my essential medications due to their exorbitant price and my financial hardship, Our situation in Gaza is well-known, and my health is deteriorating daily. Please stand by us ,I need your support to be able to purchase my medication and survive. I hope you will not ignore my current plight.

My health is deteriorating rapidly, and I can barely write this letter to tell you that I desperately need your help. Please help me so I can buy my medication as soon as possible and travel for my surgery. Please donate.

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

I swear to god if any of you motherfuckers talk about all the harm this new sports ban is going to cause cis women you’re going in the stocks