oh, my costis. oh, my friend.

my dream is to open a queer woman-owned combination lesbian bar/laundromat that also does brunch with a mean vegan eggs benedict that bridges the gap between uhh lesbian bars and laundromats and brings together the time-honoured pairing of lesbians and repressed housewives and anyone that loves a fucking mimosa, doing 5 consecutive loads of laundry and. hold on a give me a second the vodka's kicking in and i need to do a little mr bean ass jig. where was i uhhhhh eating pussy. bridging gaps and filling holes etc. listen to me. LISTEN. the world can be a better and kinder place. you should be able to wash a month's worth of laundry, drink and a beer and invite a butch home at the same time. this is my belief. this is the platform i run on. vote now

speaking as a stay-at-home middle child

this email could've been a secret whispered into a hole in a stone temple wall and sealed in with mud