uhhhhhh

My delusion that im always right really isn’t helped by the fact I almost always do end up being right

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

i love my misandrist mother i asked her one time if she liked lord of the rings and she said “i’m tired of men going on adventures”

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

One of worst things copaganda ever perpetuated is the rhetoric that if you aren't guilty of breaking the law, you shouldn't value your personal privacy against the state's surveillance and interrogation. That only guilty people hire lawyers when talking to police.

i really dont gaf if people are genuinely drug seeking, like for real show up to the doctor asking for drugs for fun oh my god get over it

shauty i dont. MIND

how victorian <- is referring to the tv show victorious

how edwardian <- is referring to the tv show ed edd n eddy

i’m in love with u

if god were real smoking weed would still be fun

everything’s gonna be okay allegedly

People get so fixated on the rehabilitation of convicted criminals. Nobody ever talks about rehabilitating law abiding citizens. This is because law abiding citizens are a lost cause. The law abiding citizen is beyond redemption.

I have already died thrice by 1pm