Holy Interplanetary Yardstick, Batman

this is like a group chat

They forgot the part where the ambulance actually stopped to let the cat in

oh good I was worried

What a good cat. What a kind cat. How can anyone not love cats they are so good and loving.

they also forgot the part where they only found the baby because masha was screaming her head off bc she knew this baby was in danger. she went around outside the alley the next morning and yelled at passerby until she got one to follow her to the baby. she kept him warm all night and then made sure someone found him. she was adopted after this bc she was a stray and is in a loving home and is a hero

Hero cat

Thank you, Masha, you’re such a good girl.

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

this is peak fucking comedy

I’m Californian and I have the balls to do this.

californian found dead wearing a murrsuit in a 2003 honda civic after encountering black ice for the first time and careening off of I-95

reblogging for the last one

if i was a shapeshifter, half of my time would be spent making myself look androgynous and trimming up the things about my shape I’m not happy with, and half of my time would be spent making my teeth look just a little bit sharper than is normal, changing my eye-color subtly between slightly unsettling shades, and giving myself an intricate “tattoo” that just barely moves every couple of hours, until it’s in a whole new shape next time you look at me.

#i waNT TO BE AN ELDRITCH BEING WHOSE ONLY GENDER IS “ATTRACTIVELY DISTURBING”#IS THAT SO HARD GOD?!?!?!?!?!

1-800-ARE YOU ffflllllufflflfflllfSLAPSLAPflflluffflallffSLAPPING

1-800-ARE YOU ffflllllufflflfflllfSLAPSLAPflflluffflallffSLAPPING