Why hello!

I scrolled past that before realizing op was being literal and not just making some kind of weird joke

Oh please, "the penetration of the vampire's bite as metaphor for sexual penetration" is like, horny classic vampire symbolism 101 🙄 Taking this to the next level of "vampire bite as literal reproductive penetration" is a conversation Tumblr is thoroughly and uniquely prepared for and one that we will all severely regret very shortly

Oh, I’m ready to be a spectator for this conversation. I’m ready. 

MA'AM.

[something, something] … practicing safe sucks.

Okay, yeah, I'll reblog that

New meaning for dental dam

"normal guy in an really weird place just chilling" and "weird thing or creature in a really normal place confused as hell" are both extremely funny concepts to me

“I want to decompose in a bog” well you clearly don’t know the first thing about bogs. Clout chaser

rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks

no, i dont lose hyperfixations. theyre just moved to a different, slightly less used, shelf in my brain.

And then one thing happens and they move back to the front shelf of my brain

sometimes I reach in just to take a little something, maybe to show someone, and then the whole shelf collapses on my head

sorry for finding it hot when people's hair goes grey. as if im wrong

When I was “I want him” about a male character im not saying I wanna fuck him. I want him like a spoiled little girl wants a pony, I want to him so I can put him on my shelf for safekeeping, I want him like a good hearty stew on a winter’s evening, I want to put him in a jar and shake it.

i’m so genuinely lucky to be dumb as hammers. the simplest things bring me joy. i’ve had several fits of passionate laughing out loud today because i can’t stop thinking of the phrase “one william dollars”

"Friends don't look at friends that way" coward. You don't look at your friends with awe and adoration in your eyes? You don't look at your friends and think "this incredible human being has chosen to listen to me ramble about my hyperfixation"? You don't look at your friends and think "I want them to keep laughing forever"? Why the fuck not

nagyon szeretnék sok ilyen izéket

Have you REALLY lost your scissors if you aren't walking around making scissor motions with your fingers in an attempt to lure them back out?

spellcasting with somatic compenents

Honestly if anyone’s going to figure out robot bodies it’s gonna be Furries.

Elon Musk is not going to give you the cybernetic body of your dreams, NASA guys who want to work Mission Control as a Liger are.

*spits up blood & looks up, smirking* heh, torture me all you like but ill never tell you the answer to the sphinxs riddle, because im stupid as fuck, & dont know it

wait, isnt NSFW the letters on the compass

So close.

north south FUCK west