Message in a Bottle

some of you are perfectly fine people but you need to develop self esteem and distress tolerance so bad how are you ugly and having the worst day of your life every day

people sent me death threats for this one

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

it really is quite bad for your military to have an image of itself as a warrior class. what you really want is for your soldiers to think of themselves as boring professionals who will fill out a report form if someone gets a little too warrior ethos out there

Why is so much adult oriented 2d animation bastard ugly, do they know they don’t have to do that? The characters don’t have to projectile vomit all the time either, but maybe that’s asking too much

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

do you want to play dead bodies with me

floats along your dash face down and quiet and cold

crime shows fucking loooooove the "child who is just born to be irredeemable and evil no matter what" trope which i'm sure means nothing