the punch landed hard enough to turn jason's head. for a moment all he tasted was blood. copper flooded his mouth as he stood there breathing through his nose , staring at the floor of bonnie's kitchen. bonnie's apartment. bonnie's home. the place where she'd let both of them in far more than either deserved. there were photographs on the refrigerator. a half-empty coffee mug sat beside the sink. a cardigan she'd left draped over a chair hung forgotten in the corner. all those little pieces of her life surrounded them while they stood there acting like animals.
something in him snapped. before cooper could say another word , jason surged forward and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. years of hockey training and raw strength took over. he drove cooper backward until his shoulders hit the wall with enough force to rattle the frame hanging beside them. the impact echoed through the apartment. jason had barely noticed. his blood was pounding too loudly in his ears. he could feel his pulse in his jaw , in his hands , in the ache spreading across his face where cooper had hit him. for once , there was no smirk. no joke. no smartass comment waiting to defuse the situation. he was genuinely angry.
" you don't get to stand there and act like i'm the bad guy, " he spat. his grip tightened against cooper's shirt. " you don't get to talk about her like she's yours. "
the words came easier now that they were finally out. maybe because he'd spent months swallowing them. months watching bonnie twist herself into knots trying to help cooper. months watching her make excuses for him. months watching her walk around with red eyes after nights she swore she was fine. jason had always been crude. loud. selfish. the kind of guy who made inappropriate jokes because sincerity made him uncomfortable. but somewhere along the way , things had changed. somewhere between late-night phone calls, fast-food runs , and afternoons spent doing absolutely nothing together , he'd stopped seeing bonnie as another person orbiting his life.
" she still cares about you , " he continued , his voice rough with frustration. " that's the part that drives me fucking crazy. she still worries about you. she still defends you. she still thinks there's something worth saving. and what do you do ? you make her cry. "
the accusation hung heavily between them. jason could picture it too clearly. bonnie disappearing into her room. bonnie forcing smiles she didn't mean. bonnie pretending she wasn't hurt because she didn't want to burden anyone else. every memory tightened around his chest until it was difficult to breathe. the worst part wasn't that cooper hated him. it wasn't that cooper thought he was some entitled rookie trying to take his place. the worst part was knowing bonnie would keep giving pieces of herself away until there was nothing left if somebody didn't stop it.
his grip loosened slightly as another realization settled over him. it hit harder than the punch ever could have. his entire life he'd expected people to chase him. his parents fixed every mistake. girlfriends called first. coaches bent rules for him. he'd spent twenty-something years believing love was something he received. something handed to him because he was charming enough , talented enough , important enough. then bonnie happened. and for the first time in his life he didn't want to be the center of somebody else's world.
he wanted to be there for hers.
the thought settled into place with startling clarity.
the confession left his mouth before he could stop it.
for a second , neither of them moved. jason stared at cooper , hearing the words echo back at him. it was the first time he'd ever said them aloud. there was no taking them back now. no disguising them as a joke. no pretending they meant something else.
" yeah, " he said quietly, swallowing hard. " i love her. "
the truth felt terrifying. freeing. painful.
" i don't care if she never picks me. i don't care if she never loves me back. i don't care if i spend the rest of my life being nothing more than her friend. i just want her to be happy. "
his hand finally released cooper's shirt. " that's the difference between us. you think this is about winning. you think i'm trying to take something from you. i'm not. if you made her happy, i'd walk away tomorrow. i'd hate every second of it, but i'd do it. "
jason stepped back , chest heaving as the adrenaline slowly drained from his body. the kitchen suddenly felt smaller. quieter. every emotion he'd spent months avoiding sat exposed between them.
“ but you don't make her happy anymore. ” his voice softened then , somehow becoming more dangerous than the shouting.
“ and i'm not gonna stand here and watch you keep breaking her just because you're too afraid to let her go. ”