Fenhawke week 2026: Free day- Apology
Part three to "Strange places" and "Fight"
Warnings: None for this one. Soft end to all the angst
It had been near a month since Hawke walked away from him. Fenris paced back and forth in his big empty home for weeks walking through the conversation again and again, trying to figure out how to fix it all. He thought about the fact that shed brought up who all would be tranquil if he got his way and it did click just why she was so upset. If things were how he wanted.... he would lose so much. Merrill wasn't horrible - for all her misgivings and horrible ideas she was a awkwardly sweet person. Anders, for every once of his being as a short coming as a whole, was a healer who had saved all their lives more than once in battle. And Hawke.....where would he be without her? What would have happened to him without her? She meant the world to him even if he was to stubborn to admit it to himself right now....
So he grabbed a bottle of something he knew Hawke liked and headed off in the dead of night when he knew their companions would have long gone to bed. He slipped into her window a bit to easy- he would have to talk to her about some kind of protection of them- and looked over to meet blue eyes that had looked up from the parchment she was writing. "you really shouldn't just....leave your window open" he said, voice gruff. She was still wet from bathing, dressed in her sleep wear, looking softer and more casual then he ever saw her on the normal basis.
"Fenris what are you doing here?" Hawke sighed, putting her quill down and tucking her note away. He couldn't read it, not that he would tell her that, but she seemed determined to keep him from being able to see the words.
"I came to.....apologize" he said, holding up the bottle. It felt strange....Hawke standing there all soft and unprotected and him in full spiky armor. There had to be a poem somewhere about the visual of their personalities this gave.....
"Apologize for what?" She challenged, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair, not coming closer, only guarding herself more.
Fenris wasn't used to this. Hawke was always one to welcome people with open arms even if it was with wry eyes. So why was she being so extra guarded with him? "For hurting you with my words" he said, trying to find the right words for what he was apologizing for.
"Just that your words hurt me?" she sighed, getting up and walking over to him. It wasn't with an easy smile or warm eyes. It was with the kind of look she gave people she didn't truly trust but knew she couldn't change the ways of.
"Hawke" he said, his voice going uncharacteristically soft as he set down the bottle on her desk. "I would not allow anyone to make you tranquil... not you. Not ever. If there is any mage in this world I trust, it is you.... you are the only one I cant picture ever holding someones chains." he said, trying to show her the best he could with words how he felt. "please understand my words are not directed at you..... Hells, I even still walk into battle alongside you to defend mages because its you.."
That made her actually soften and she sighed, reaching over to pick up the bottle and look it over. "Wanna help me with this tonight?" she asked, moving to grab some glasses and casually grab her letter shed been writing- tossing it into her fire before she began pouring their glasses.
He wondered what that letter had said. He wondered what words shed been writing because she couldn't put them out with her mouth.
For now though.... he accepted the glass of wine and the offer for company if for no other reason then to have Hawke forgive him finally.