much evil

Sally sells #humans by the sea shore.

Mmm human trafficking

i’m slightly drun rn and read this thinkgin it meant kevin mcallister and i was wondering what home alone movie yall were watching

The weirdest instance of “getting my wires crossed” I’ve ever experienced: I had a piece of candy at my desk. My intention was to simultaneously eat the candy and start a brief work task. I put the candy in my mouth and felt a surge of alarm as I was convinced, for a fraction of a second, that I had somehow eaten the task I was about to start.

some of y’all haven’t sat through 10 seasons of supernatural just to see if dean and cas would hold hands and it shows

i sure hope it does

twitter is like youtube comments without the videos

I can’t believe that men, for centuries, had the audacity to look at women and think we’re dumber than them.

My noodle is 7

can i get a cheezberder

srry we only do chinken nunget

I actually genuinely love dealing with angry and aggressive customers because it’s SO funny. They always come in with a specific level of energy and they expect whoever they deal with to be scared of them and then when I’m clearly not physically or emotionally intimidated they get SO flustered and start doing the weirdest shit to regain power in the situation. Like there’s absolutely nothing you could do to me in this coffee shop that would ever even make my Top 10 Scariest Interactions With People but by all means, keep faking that phone call to your boss who apparently knows the Starbucks mermaid personally. 

I also love doing it because I know all my coworkers can get really upset when people treat them like that, which is totally understandable. So instead because they know I don’t mind they’ll just call me in and then gather round to watch like it’s a boxing match