eveserose

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Hurt/injured character - poses references

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The managerial and imposing Paul Foremanlino:

while SU presents you with characters who suck, and who want you to look at that and examine "okay, but why do they suck. what happened in their lives that made them that way. can we help them not be that way and heal from that damage, while not simply excusing their behavior." It also takes characters that you love and peels them apart and shows you their most damaged and fucked up parts, and asks you to still love them even through their flaws, because everyone in the world has nastiness inside them that they are trying to get past or hide, and still deserve love and a chance to improve themselves anyways.

both these shows are great and i think they do what they set out to do well. And you would think that the more adult out of these shows would be the more challenging of the two. But nobody goes into breaking bad expecting there to be only love and light, because its an adults show with adult themes

Basically nobody went into SU expecting challenging topics. "Everyone should be given compassion" is a common lesson given to children through cartoons, but its rarely given in conjunction with characters that are as realistically fucked up, traumatized, bigoted, and neglectful as some characters in SU are. And at the end of the day, the very unfortunate reality is that people in this world are much quicker to accept the idea of "there are some people who have been inherently broken by our society, who become assholes and ruin everything around them" than they are willing to accept the idea that those people could be healed and stop being an asshole under the right circumstances, with the right help, and that it might (god forbid) be our responsibility sometimes to be that help.

This is the first and immediate thing they do.

I like to think that the intent was to transplant it in the royal gardens, so that it could be used for the people of Corona, but that the transplant didn't take and the flower was showing signs of wilting, and that's why they ended up plucking the blossom. Either that, or that they thought it would be like some other kinds of flowers that would produce more blossoms later.

it took me asking three more times before she finally told me she wanted me to leave the fans where they are instead of moving them to my room or something. and I said oh! I had no intention of doing so but thank you for letting me know what the expectation is.

"You left your dish in the sink." > the hidden request is "please clean your dish, preferably right now." since it's phrased as an observation, I don't immediately intuit the request and instead think my housemate thinks I forgot about it. so I reply "oh, I know." housemate thinks i'm sassing her and gets annoyed with me. only then do I realize she was asking me to do something about the dish in the sink.

"There's hot soup on the stove." > said to me while I was preparing a sandwich. the hidden request is "please eat the soup." since it's phrased as a statement of fact, I don't immediately intuit the request and instead think my mom thinks I didn't see the soup. I did see it, but I wanted a sandwich instead. so I reply, "I saw it, thank you." mother thinks I'm being rude and gets annoyed with me. only then do I realize she was asking me to do something about the soup (and furthermore is offended I am eating a sandwich instead).

"Your bread is on the counter." > the hidden request is "please remove your sliced bread from the counter and store it elsewhere." since it's phrased as an observation, I don't immediately intuit the request and think my roommate thinks I meant to store the bread elsewhere and forgot. when I reassure her I know it's there, she gets annoyed. only then do I realize she wants me to do something about the bread on the counter.

"You can turn up the heat, you know." > said to me while I was scrambling eggs slowly over low heat. this one really confused me because of course I knew I could turn up the heat, but I had no reason to as I was only cooking for myself. when I ignored the statement because I was focused on my task and had nothing to say, my mother added, "the eggs will cook faster if you do." sure, I'm aware of this too, but I don't want to cook them faster. I won't get the texture I want. when I reply, "I don't want to, though," mom thinks I'm being rude and gets irritated, then asks me how long I'm going to take. only then do I realize she was telling me to cook faster (because she wanted the stove), instead of simply informing me I could.

"There are donuts in the break room." > a more benign example, but similar outcome. once again I hear this as a piece of information being given to me, and thank my coworker for telling me. when I don't immediately leave my desk to get donuts because I'm finishing a task, my coworker hovers and says, "well? aren't you getting some?" only then do I realize there was actually a hidden invitation, and I was supposed to respond to the hidden part and say, "I'll come get them in a minute," or "no thank you I don't want any."

as I said, I've learned over time this is something many allistic (non-autistic) people do (as well as high masking autistic folks who have learned the social rules and wear themselves out following them rigidly). despite what I've learned, my default autistic response is pretty much always to take the words at face value (especially when I'm distracted or multitasking), before remembering I have to translate them. and while I can make a decent educated guess in most cases, sometimes I just cannot and simply ask, "what are you asking me?"

unfortunately, many allistic people suffer from an inability to take words literally just as much as they struggle to speak literally, which can further obfuscate communication. this is why I emphasize gentle reassurance that you are not criticizing them, but asking them to help you, a person in need, by clarifying their intent. people generally like to be helpful and I have had moderate success with this approach.