hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak
socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell
the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer
Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me. If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door. When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN. Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.
If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.
KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW. Hope this helped.
I might have some useful info to add.
-a jar of peanut butter is long lasting and easy to hide under a bed or in a dresser drawer. I lived off of jars of peanut butter and boxes of saltine crackers I would buy on grocery trips with my mom.
-two words: Slipper Socks. These are the socks that have rubber designs on the bottom for grip. They make no noise, and also keep you steady on slicker surfaces like tile and wood. You can find them cheap at Walmart. They also keep your feet more protected if you’re outside.
-if you’re secure enough in your room to have a small food stash, make sure you’re not too obvious about it (duh) but also move its location every few days. I kept mine in a shoebox under my bed, then switched it to a backpack in my closet, then wedged between my bookshelf and wall, and I would cycle locations until i moved it permanently to a false-bottomed drawer I installed in my dresser when my father was gone for a weekend. I would NEVER put food directly into my stash after taking it. I would keep it in pockets of my clothes and between books until everyone went to sleep, then I’d stock and stow my stash for the next few days.
-get a water bottle with a filter in it. I used to be able to reach my bathroom from my bedroom door down the hall using a huge step or minor jump/leap. If I was afraid of being caught at night, I’d fill up the humidifier tank we kept under our sink while I took a short shower, and would refill my water that way. It might not be the best option, but I kept a small stockade of water under my bed for emergencies.
-if you can, smuggle your garbage out in your backpack or purse. Dispose of it at work/school. I got caught twice by carelessly throwing away packaging.
-if someone knows the situation you’re going through (close friend/partner/etc) see if there’s a way for them to get food or other supplies to you at school or work or what private time you may get. A hidden first aid kit literally saved parts of my body before and I owe it to a close friend.
-try learning the building’s natural rhythm. The house I grew up in would creak and settle heavily every night for 3-5 minutes. That was my shot, and I had to be QUICK. I still got caught a few times, but learning the patterns in our floors and walls, when they creaked, WHERE they creaked, kept me going. Eventually I was sprinting in slipper socks to the kitchen and back in less than 90 seconds.
-if you have stairs, or live upstairs. Sit as you go down them one at a time, or climb up them like an animal. It keeps you low/out of lots of motion sight, and also can reduce noise and creaking by distributing weight over more than 1-2 steps.
-You can use common hand sanitizer to remove the stains certain snack foods leave behind (coughs cheeto fingers) and a dry toothbrush can help scrub the color off your tongue. If you can get powdered toothpaste or toothpaste tabs to keep on hand, it makes a huge difference in sneakiness.
-I don’t recommend going for dried foods like granola or cereal unless you can sneak it to a secure place to get it. It’s too loud, it’s a gamble every time for something with less caloric intake than it’s worth if you get caught. Of course, there are times when that’s the only option!!
-if you’re taking milk, add water, but be SURE to shake/agitate the bottle to distribute the dairy fat with the water. I got into the habit of shaking milk jugs when I started sneaking it, and explained the habit as something I read in an old comic strip my father showed me. (Back when whole milk had a lot more cream fats and they’d separate, so shaking it would redistribute the cream.) I still shake milk jugs to this day.
-if your windows open or don’t have screens, eat leaning out an open window. Any food mess will be lost in the dirt. I was lucky I had bushes and birds outside that would catch my granola bar crumbs before anyone could notice.
-canned goods are tempting, but not worth it. It requires too many tools (can opener/strained sometimes/utensils/some need heat) stick to thinks like various nut butters (sunflower/peanut/almond), crackers, dried fruit, and easy to conceal food bars (nature valley/nutrigrain/etc.) dried ramen packets are good uncooked if you can stand the texture. Apple sauce and pudding cups are also easier to sneak and stash than one might think, and can be eaten with your fingers. The only canned foods I recommend are condensed soups and precooked pasta (spaghetti-o’s). You can easily mix them with a little bit of hot water from the tap and get something more sustaining than a handful of captain Crunch. The cans are cheap, sometimes recyclable, and drinking soup takes way less time than chewing solid food.
-if you menstruate, attempt to stash pads/tampons in a safe location. Sometimes shit happens. Pads can work as bandages in emergency situations. Sometimes shark week comes unexpectedly. If you can sneak a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, these are also life savers.
-plastic utensils from takeout containers can be hidden inside socks and will be worth their weight in gold when you least expect it. I bought myself a tiny plastic bowl from the dollar store and kept cheap trinkets in it on my desk so it didn’t seem like a bowl I was eating out of. You could try this with something like a mason jar, which is also useful for drinking out of or storing water.
-if you’re eating a crunchy or solid food, try soaking it in water. Mushy food can be repulsive in texture, but I could clock the sound of someone eating a nature valley oat bar from like 6 miles away. Dunking it in water (or using a secret bowl+water) can reduce noise, and also eating time since you don’t have to chew as much.
-keep a laundry bar or tide pen on you. Laundry bars are super useful, a little hard to find though. I washed a lot of stains out of my clothes with laundry bars in my bathroom sink as a kid. Not proud if it, but it kept me flying under the radar at school.
-clear rubber bands, plain twine or string, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Indescribably useful. I once rigged a system to open tricky cabinets and get objects from inside using two paper clips and a foot of plain string like a mock lasso system.
-if you’re pulling objects from tall cabinets, use your chest or stomach to cushion them. Let them fall into your torso and then into your hands cradled underneath. Not as loud, not as much grabbing, if someone sees it they can mistake it for it falling on you by the body language.
-get a bandana. Or four. Napkins, bandages, tool, and accessory all in one.
-get a tiny sewing kit. I’m talking 3 needles and a spool of thread tiny. Scissors if you can sneak it. See things into your clothes. Make hidden pockets or compartments. Threadbanger on YouTube did a video a few years ago about sneaking things into music festivals using tiny clothing mods, but they may be useful in sneaking money or medicine.
-on the topic of sneaking money. don’t take bills, take change. If your abusers don’t meticulously count their nickels and pennies, they’re an easy(ish) way to build up a tiny savings pool. I found nickels the least noticed coin I took, even more than pennies, and taking two every few nights from where they’d be tossed on our countertop soon built up to a semi-reliable fund I passed off to someone to get me food for my stash without having to sneak it from the kitchen. As soon as I became “independent” in my food storage, I was subjected to much less scrutiny. I managed to build up a solid 1-2 week ration supply after hoarding change.
-you can tape SD cards to the inside of book dust covers(the part that folds inside the actual cover of the book), if you have a sewing kit or zipper on it inside the stuffing of your pillow (trim a corner, stuff it inside, stitch it closed) or (this is final resort) VERY CAREFULLY remove the covering from your outlet and tape it to the wall stud before replacing the casing. I kept mine inside part of my wooden bed frame that I hollowed out using, you guessed it, take out silverware knives and 4 nights without sleep.
-THE FLOOR IS LAVA WAS KEY TRAINING FOR ME AS A CHILD. I learned to take pillows with me, climb on furniture to disrupt my flow of movement, toss a pillow down, and use that to cushion any rattle our living room could give off as I crept to the kitchen from the side entrance so my mom’s dog wouldn’t bark or alert anyone. I highly suggest crawling around on all fours like some sort of beast to stay out of sight.
-can you run your house blindfolded?? If you can’t. Maybe you should try to learn. I suffered some heavy eye traumas growing up and had a collective 3-4 months just IN THE DARK. Eyes bandaged, left alone. It was terrible, but damn if I couldn’t navigate the whole place silently, without any visual cues. This helps a lot with the whole moving around in the dark thing, too. Listening is obviously key.
-if your parents start getting suspicious, or you’re suspicious they’re getting suspicious, watch out for traps. String on the ground that gets shifted when you walk on it. Baby powder or flour left to track footprints or doors opening/closing. My dad was partial to wrapping a bungee cord around my doorknob and attaching it to the closet across the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to open my door enough to get out, or if I did, I risked ruining the structural integrity of the wrappings he did, and he would notice.
-learn to tie some knots. Strong ones. They’ll come in handy at one point or another.
-remember that you’re not totally alone. There’s people out there for you. Wanting to make everything better. You don’t deserve what’s happening, it isn’t normal, and you will eventually find help. But staying safe is important, and you are important.
It upsets me that people might need to know these but I know it could really help someone by reblogging
being able to get around your house blindfolded (or, you know, just in the dark, in the middle of the night, without turning on any lights) is SUPER IMPORTANT. im lucky because i have natrually good night vision, but even without it you want to be able to get around your house in the dark. don’t be afraid to use your hands as your eyes. its way more helpful than most people realize.
Watching out for traps is a really good tip. When I was really young, I would get up in the middle of the night to sneak food out of the trash (I know, not the healthiest, but I was like 4). My mom strung cat bells along the hallway and around the trash can. The first bell I hit, I bolted back to my bed and didn’t sleep for the rest of the night thinking she would come in.
Another tip: Halloween time, sneak as much candy as you can into your pockets in between each house. Chocolate always worked better for me. M&Ms have probably saved my life. The sugar can help on those days where you get the shakes.
When you open the fridge, break the seal first, then get the light off as soon as possible. There’s no point in being silent if you’re a literal beacon in the night. If you can figure out a way to hold the button down before ever opening the door, great. I would use a school ruler, and just slide it under the seal where the button was.
I know how tempting it is to eat everything you can find when your left in the house alone. DON’T. Take a little bit of everything, I’m talking minuscule. It’s less noticeable and can keep you from getting sick off of the same thing over and over.
When you get an actual meal, don’t inhale it. Try to chew each bite about 5 times first. It’ll keep you from over eating and throwing it all back up later. Make this opportunity count.
Learn who you can trust. My mother abused us for years, and no one in the family knew until very recently. If there’s an aunt or uncle or grandparent who you get to spend time with alone, TAKE ADVANTAGE. Take whatever they will give you. A bath, a sandwich, a drink, a nap, anything. It may be a while between visits, and you don’t know when you’ll get those things again.
Stay safe. Please.
It upsets me that people need these tips. I hope maybe these tips might make your life easier. You’re not alone. Try your best to stay safe.
This stuff saved my life
Alright since this was less covered, here’s some tips for getting the hell out of there if needed:
Stash a go-bag somewhere. Bury it, stash it in a tree, keep in a friend’s yard, etc. 2 days worth of food, a change of clothes and some extra layers (if you can make it to a thrift shop with a friend, or get hand-me-downs from someone it’ll go unnoticed). That with an extra phone cord, toothbrush, and $20 will get you through a long time.
Doubled up socks can keep your feet safe if you need to run outside, and it won’t raise suspicion like shoes stored in the bedroom do.
Keep a flashlight. I used to keep a small mag light taped behind my dresser, but a keychain flashlight would be easier to conceal.
Don’t plan on having your phone with you. You need to be prepared for anything.
Keep a sheet of phone numbers and addresses of people/places you can be safe.
Keep a multi-tool, the pliers have a sharp bit inside them that can cut through the loop of a lock.
Have an emergency plan if you’re in extreme danger. Have at least 4 ways to get out of the house and practice them. Same goes for getting out of the yard. Memorize back routes where someone patrolling the roads can’t find you. Find a place where you could lay low for a while (someplace that wouldn’t occur to them, NO friend’s houses or public places you frequent). I had an emergency set up in the woods, and a back way to get to the police station that only crossed one road.
If you have a sibling, coordinate plans/escape routes and have code words or certain looks/actions that indicate which one you’ll be doing.
Other:
Go to events that have booths with goodies as incentives (candy, snacks, pencils, random useful things that no-one knows you have).
If you live in a cheaper house your bedroom door may be hollow. Pry it open and tape money inside.
IF IN ANY CASE YOU ARE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH MONEY TO BOOK A CHEAP HOTEL ROOM
- ask the receptionist to put you under “Unknown”
- that way if your abuser comes looking for you, the receptionist will know not to tell anyone that you’re staying there
- this is key at most hotels, if they don’t know what that means however, kindly ask them not to tell anyone you’re staying there, for safety reasons (it helps, trust me, I’ve had to do it before)
These tips look to be extremely helpful and can save lives. But please, for the love of all things, PLEASE DO NOT TRUST STRANGERS. THEY MAY LOOK LIKE THEY WANT TO HELP, THEY MAY WANT TO DRIVE YOU SOMEWHERE. DO. NOT. GET INTO A CAR. WITH ANYONE. DOZENS, HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE GO MISSING EVERY DAY. SOME BAD PEOPLE ARE PURPOSELY LOOKING FOR RUNAWAYS. DO. NOT. TRUST. ANYONE. GET YOURSELF TO A. SHELTER, THE POLICE STATION, A FRIENDS HOUSE. ALWAYS KEEP SOMEONE YOU TRUST NOTIFIED OF YOUR MOVEMENTS. BECAUSE IT TAKES ONE MISPLACED MOMENT OF TRUST, IT TAKES ONE BAD SLEEPING SPOT, FOR YOU TO DISAPPEAR FOR GOOD.
