who am i? what am i doing?

A cishet man getting pegged by his cishet girlfriend is not gay, he's not less of a man or submissive by default. A cishet man getting pegged by his cishet girlfriend can be sexually dominant and simply likes to be fucked in his ass - these two can co-exist. Yet, in the eyes of cishet society, a man that likes to have his ass played with, must enjoy it because it's "degrading" , not because it simply feels good.

I think the reason that something like “Somehow, Palpatine has returned” went over so badly was not because it’s impossible in the Star Wars universe for someone to come back from the dead or something. It’s because so far the new trilogy had a theme of the new generation being allowed to take over. Yoda burned the ancient texts, Kylo Ren continued the sith cycle of the apprentice replacing the master, the old heroes were dying off one by one. Solidly establishing itself as a new thing.

And then, oh no the old bad guy from the last two trilogies was secretly the bad guy in this one too! Oh no!

Like in some stories that would make sense. Not really in this one though.

In some stories there’s a giant elephant in the bathroom just because there’s a giant elephant in the bathroom and we don’t need to question that. In other types of stories you’re gonna need a damn good explanation for how and why the elephant got there.

If your movie has been established as a cheesy stupid martial arts comedy and your goofy protagonist kills a bunch of ninjas with breakdancing moves, that’s fine. I get that. But if you’ve been making a serious cop drama with intrigue, realism, and minimal amounts of gun combat and your hardened old detective kills people with breakdancing, your audience will be lost and confused.

And also...

which is a natural assumption, but in my experience that's not really the case? like in my experience the drama llamas in fandom are usually not the ones who are just genuinely very deeply into the fiction. i've known people who are basically thinking about star trek or x-men comics or supernatural pretty much 100% of their free time and ime that type of person is usually very nice and surprisingly functional in their regular life. when someone's a constant nexus of fandom drama it's usually not that they are obsessed with the actual work of fiction the fandom is about, it's at least one of the following:

what they're obsessed with is not the source material but their unhealthy parasocial relationships with one or more of the people who created it

what they're obsessed with is not the source material but some elaborate shared-universe subset of fanfic about it that's only barely related to the original at this point, and/or an esoteric reading-against-the-text reinterpretation of the source material (often if the canon is active and ongoing this leads to becoming actively hostile toward it for its inevitably increasing failure to conform to their preferred fanon)

what they're obsessed with is not the source material but the fandom itself and gathering clout within it, so that the source material basically only exists to them as a tool for scoring points in increasingly arcane fandom disputes

There’s such recency bias in fandom. As an author you post something, get a few reactions, and then it goes off into the bin. As a reader you check the tags, see what’s new, and move on. But a lot of old stuff is really good. It’s just sitting there, gathering dust, waiting for someone to take a peek.

So go on. Treat yourself.